“Hey Dad, I Have a Question”

If you have kids, you know that they all go through a phase early on where their major concerns in life begin with “Why?”

• “Why is the sky blue?”
• “Why do you have whiskers?”
• “Why do I have to make the bed when I’m just going to un-make it tonight?”
• “Why do you have a big tummy?”

They can be incessant and sometimes aggravating. But as an empty-nester, I will tell you that they won’t stick around. Before you know it, your kids will be old enough that they don’t really care what you know, and their questions will evolve.

• “Can I have some money?”
• “When can I get a smartphone?”
• “Can you drive me to practice?”
• “Why do I have a curfew?”

At that stage, the questions can even evolve into mere statements, often grunted.

• “You need to sign this.”
• “I need the car tonight.”
• “My friend’s parents have a lawn service.”
• “I need new clothes.”

Hang in there! It is to be expected. Eventually, you might be fortunate enough to experience yet another evolution. The questions return! Something wonderful happens when your children begin asking questions again. Thankfully, not every two minutes, but every now and again.

This is not something unique to this generation. I’m sure I did the same thing. At some point in my adulthood, my dad’s opinions and knowledge began to matter to me again. The questions became more instructional. They also became more personal and more difficult.

• “How did you know that you should marry Mom?”
• “Why is the engine light on in my car?
• “How do you replace a water heater?”
• “How old were you when you had your first angiogram?”

Enter YouTube. It is no longer necessary to call Dad to ask him how to do things, because most anything that you want to learn about, or find out how to do, is instantly available with a quick search online. (And probably explained better than I could.)

Nowadays, with grown kids, I still get occasional questions, but they are different.

• “Can you send me you prime rib recipe?”
• “What should I get Mom for Mother’s Day?”
• “Have you been to *restaurant* yet?”
• “Would you guys be able to babysit?”

I miss the days of little kids asking, “Why?” Thankfully, grandchildren now help fill that void. I particularly love it when my adult kids still ask questions. Often they want to know my opinion about something. Curiosity about my childhood and early adulthood can result in fun and informative conversations. Sometimes they have gospel questions they want my take on – especially when working on a talk or a lesson for church. (My favorite!)

Those tyoe of questions are satisfying because I think they come from two places:

1. Acceptance that Dad might have actually picked up some knowledge along the road he’s been on.
2. Trust that Dad will keep confidences and do his best to help them in their search for answers.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that some of my kids are smarter than I am in many fields. They have learned a lot in their young lives and have had experiences I have not. Sometimes I know the answers and can offer good advice. Sometimes my best answer is “I can’t help you with that. You’ll figure it out, I love you.”

But it makes me happy when they ask. It helps me feel close to them, loved and respected. I love answering the phone (or a text) and hearing, “Hey Dad, I have a question.”

My dad has been gone for over 20 years now – a third of my life. Almost every day, I think of something I would like to ask him. Things that seemed unimportant to the younger me, but of great interest to the older me. But…I will have to wait for that eventual reunion.

I imagine Heavenly Father feels the same way when we have questions for Him. I also wonder if He gives a celestial eye roll when we muddle through life without asking for His thoughts, opinions, or help on whatever struggle we are going through.

Ancient and modern scripture are full of counsel from prophets and from the Savior to “Ask God.” James counseled in the New Testament. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him…” (James 1:5)

The simple “ask” from a young Joseph Smith ushered in the restoration of the Gospel.

I believe that when we ask God a question, we are showing Him two things:

1. Acceptance that He knows more than we do.
2. We have faith that He can answer us.

Asking our Heavenly Father questions is at the very heart of our faith and gospel. Moroni teaches, “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true…” (Moroni 10:4)

(Please note that we are taught to ask Heavenly Father. Not Jesus. Not saints. Not Heavenly Mother.)

Asking for God’s wisdom, help, grace, and witness should be a huge part of our earthly sojourn. There are so many things to ask that sometimes I worry that I come off like that three-year-old who is forever asking, “Why, why, why?”

Even if I were to run out of questions, (doubtful) Elder Lawrence suggests “…we need to ask the Lord for directions along the way. We have to ask some difficult questions like “What do I need to change?” “How can I improve?” “What weakness needs strengthening?” (Link)

I don’t presume to know the mind of God, but I hope that when we come to Him with those types of questions, He is pleased.

That is something I can relate to.

I’m sure that I have gone through periods in my life where I was the sullen teenager, disinterested in God’s opinion. Hopefully, I’ve grown out of that.

Happy Father’s Day to you dads out there. Happy Father’s Day to my dad “up there.” And, lastly, happy Father’s Day to the Father of us all.

And about those questions – keep asking.