The past few days have made for an interesting discussion about repentance and reverence. Last night as was reading comments and thinking about how we all have different struggles, I remembered a story from my past.I was that wiggly kid. I couldn’t sit still. My mom got so exasperated that she even took me to the doctor. “Do something!”, she begged. The doctor just replied, “He’s just hyperactive, it will eventually go away.” (Nowadays I probably would have been diagnosed and medicated.) Now you have some background…
One Sunday, when I was about 6 years-old, I was especially irreverent in Sacrament Meeting. I wiggled and laughed and talked and was driving everyone around us crazy. Particularly the lady sitting directly in front of me – Sister Ogilvie. Eventually her patience wore thin, and Sister Ogilvie turned around and gave me, and my mom, the stink-eye. I don’t remember if the stink-eye made an immediate impact or not, but it made an eventual impact.When we got home my mom was not happy. She was embarrassed by my behavior, and especially irritated that I had pestered Sister Ogilvie so much. She gave me the appropriate lecture and I hoped we were finished. Nope. Mom told me that I needed to walk down to Sister Ogilvie’s house and apologize for disturbing her at church. What? Apologize? In person?
She ushered me out the door. The Ogilvie family only lived about 5 houses down the block, but that day the walk seemed much, much longer. I wish I could go back in time and video my stalling tactics. Eventually I arrived. I rang the doorbell, hoping that no one would answer. The door quickly opened. Standing there was Jill, adding to my shame. Jill was in my class in Primary, and school. And she was loud and obnoxious, and a talker.
I asked JIll if her mom was there. She looked puzzled and went off to find her. As Sister Ogilvie came to the door, I could see through the screen door as she wiped her hands on her apron. Funny the detail we sometimes remember when our life is in peril.
I figured I could just mutter my apology through the screen. Nope. She invited me in, and had me sit on the couch. Jill was just standing there, curious and smirky. Her mom noticed and shooed her out of the room. Looking back now, I am 100% sure that my mom called her and gave her a “head’s up” that I was coming. Sister Ogilvie sat down across from me, giving me her full attention. I was dying.
“What can I do for you Brother. MMM?”, she asked intently.
“Well, uh, I want to apologize for being so bad at church today.” (I was six – I didn’t have the masterful command of the language that I do now!)She was instantly kind and soft. She accepted my apology, but not before letting me know that I had distracted her and made it hard for her to enjoy the meeting. Point taken.
She sent me on my way. The walk back home was much shorter, and happier. And I never, ever, had to experience the walk of shame and apologize to Sister Ogilvie again.
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I officially love MMM’s mother!
I say it takes a village to raise kids. The more help, the better. Way to go MMM’s Mom!
My dad was in a bishopric or bishop my entire adolescence. We sat on the very front row. He could give a very good stink eye. If you got the look in Sacrament meeting, you’d get it more when we got home. 🙂
Glad to know that you survived – testimony intact.
Your Mom knew how to be a REAL mom! My husband was on the stand or serving on the high council during most of the formative years of our eight kids (our seventh was blessed the same day my husband was sustained as Bishop). When the older three were little I happened to sit in front of a cantankerous older brother. He was missing one arm but he used the other to smack my then 3-year-old son on the head with his Priesthood manual and whispered gruffly “Knock it off”.I was mad at the moment, but my son was an angel the rest of the meeting. My reverence technique for awhile after that was a quiet offer to move over by Brother Smith (his real name!) I did learn over the years just what you said: no snacks, no toys, and avoid the Disneyland of church (the foyer) or they will do anything to get back out there.
Can we clone your mom? I love her already. What an awesome example. I told my husband about this story and he agreed we need to do this when we have kids. AWESOME.
I’m going to have to remember this. Also, your mom is my hero.
I’m impressed with your Mom. I know some moms would have been offended by how she turned around and gave you the eye. They would have wanted an apology from Sister Ogilvie! But your Mom was more concerned with doing right by you.
Nothing like allowing consequences to teach the lesson. I was “invited” more than once by my folks to apologize to adults. Those were all great learning moments.
Your Mom is awesome!
May I share my walk of shame? (it has to do with reverence)
My toddler was a runner, if he had 5 steps on me it took some time to catch up. One day, on HC Sacrament meeting, I had taken him in to the hall for the “sit here till you can behave” speech. I got distracted and he bolted into the chapel. I caught up with him on the stand while he was (less than reverently) playing the piano. I scooped him up and he screamed “I want Daddy!” I walked down the isle to escape out the back of the chapel. People were gracious, they told me it made the meeting exciting.
I’m glad “the stink eye” helped you. Thank your mom, a lot of moms would have been more mad at being judged and certainly not as humble as to not be angry at the neighbor. She taught you two valuable lessons.
Love it! That is the way to teach a lesson! Just this Sunday a boy in my youngest son’s class called my daughter and son-in-law to apologize for his bad behavior in their class. It was not easy for him to do, but we have a TON of respect (for him and his parents) because he DID it! We’ll see if it improves his behavior. =)
My two boys had a rough day in priesthood one day and I heard it from that teacher loud and clear… so did everyone else in the hallway. I was furious with them and had them write apology letters to the teacher and hand deliver them. They have not been perfect since but they have been better.
Brilliant. Your mother was a wise woman.
And btw, all your reverence posts are spot on. We follow pretty much everything you stated, but now I’m thinking we should lessen the use of The Friend and the drawing on paper. I may need to ponder some more…
I had a similar experience when I was a senior in high school. There were five of us girls sitting in a row in a side pew. I was the second one from the wall. We were laughing and talking, having a good time. Sister Smith was sitting in the pew in front of us next to the wall. She suddenly turned around, touched my hand and said, “You know better than that.” I certainly did, and I was totally ashamed of myself and the others. We quieted down, and ever since I have had a real interest in reverence. I finally understood how important it is.
I loved this story, but I really loved the “Hello, Brother MMM.” haha.. Just the thought of an adult calling a 6 year old “middle-aged” was great.
That’s a good idea. Way to go MMM’s mom!
I’ve never heard this story! It’s a good one.
So did you behave well from then on? There needs to be more humiliation in child-rearing today. Sigh.
That’s awesome!
Nowadays some parents would be demanding an apology from Sis. Ogilvie for giving the kid the stink eye.
You must have a very great mother! 🙂 What a wonderful lesson she was willing to teach you. I love it!
You are obviously humble. Not every stinker would care or learn from thier experience.