As Randy Jackson would say, I’m venturing a little out of my “Wheelhouse” today. But when I see things evolving in society that disturb me, I feel it is my responsibility to speak out. This is one of those instances.
I love a good cupcake as much as the next guy. Three or four make a fabulous dessert, especially at social gatherings. They are handy, because you can eat them in one or two bites, and you don’t need a plate or a fork. Thankfully, my EC has several recipes that knock the socks off any cupcake shop that sells them for $4.00 each, and so my issue with cupcakes is not a financial concern.
Yes, there is a television show actually called “Cupcake Wars” on the Food Network.
I watched Cupcake Wars once, so I know of what I speak. I don’t see it as a great threat to society – just a very sad commentary. First of all “War” is a bit of hyperbole. It would be far more exciting if the ladies baking their cupcakes could walk over to their competitor’s station and deliver a roundhouse kick to the sous-chef while she is whipping a meringue. That would be a “war.”
The problem with Cupcake Wars is that they produce nonsense like this:
First of all look at it! Second, it is a tomato, espresso and beer cupcake. In other words, an abomination. I think that is all I need to say. But even with this ghastly creation, Cupcake Wars are not my concern either.
My concern regarding cupcakes is this: The dog-poop icing technique.
Frosting should not look like it was left there by a dog…
or an elf…
or a Smurf…
I have no idea what inspired this, but at least it was aware of breast cancer.
Please help me stop this crime against dessert. Especially at wedding receptions. Now this cupcake looks amazing. See how the frosting looks like it was put there by a person, and not the neighbor’s dog?
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| This cupcake has me distracted. |
A few more thoughts about icing while I’m on the subject of icing:
• It should be called frosting.
• It should extend all the way to the edges of the cupcake.
• It should not be taller than the actual cupcake.
One last thought, and it should be completely obvious, but apparently there are some whose superficiality has overcome their common sense: TASTE > APPEARANCE. Nothing worse that a cupcake that looks delicious, but tastes awful. We should refer to them as “Whited Sepulchre” cupcakes.
Thanks for indulging me. I feel much better now.
One more thing: If you are unfortunate enough to encounter a dog-poop cupcake, this technique could be of benefit to you.
I was just researching the reason/origin behind the disdainfully poop-like frosting which seems to be the only option lining all the bakery shelves in my city. Kudos to you! I notice that many people are defending their love of the swirl. I posit to you, what was wrong with the smooth spatula’d cupcake of old, or if you must have your swirl, make it look as if it came from a piping tube and not an anus with some ridges, i.e. the bad color choice chocolate on chocolate example above?
One of my favorite posts yet. I love cupcakes. Hate fancy ones. Cupcakes shouldn’t be savory, EVER. Frosting to the edges and I don’t like silly decorations all over them either. Mmmm. Wish I had a cupcake.
We must be kindred spirits.
It does not look like dog poop. At least not any dog poop I’ve ever seen. It looks delicious! Sorry but swirl just looks more appetizing. I disagree with you there.
Also, think about what your windows would look like if they were frosted (with snow) and what would they look like if they were iced. Frosted is light and iced is thick. So, icing is very appropriate. Frosting makes me think of dusting something lightly.
I’ve been having my kids eat their cupcakes like “gentlemen” for a while now, it’s so much cleaner! Even my two year old stays pretty clean. I like frosting them the dog poop way, it’s just easier to frost. I don’t like your description because I will probably have to change my frosting technique. My 10 year old daughter couldn’t stop laughing over these pictures.
I’ve seen dog poo…. those cupcakes look more like they have cow pies on top 😛
That reminfds me that I have a great cupcake recipe with cream cheese and chocoltae chips in the center that I haven’t made in ages. I will have to make some.
My mom has made those my whole life and they are one of my favorite cupcakes ever. I think the inside is good enough that the cupcakes don’t even need frosting.
Have you seen cakewrecks.com? They make a living off of dog poop frosting gaffes. It’s great. And I’m totally trying that cupcake sandwich technique.
Favorite cupcake quote ever (from my 4 year old): “Granny, I really love your cupcakes, but I don’t need this bread underneath.”
Ha Ha Ha –dog poop frosting– I totally agree. A couple of those look like something you could find on cakewrecks.com.
I actually think my husband married me because of my lack of cupcake etiquette. The first time we met he brought grocery store cupcakes –the kind with the mile-high frosting that is mostly crisco– and I unceremoniously wiped the frosting off on the edge of the plastic container. He was impressed that I would do such an unconventional thing (even at the risk of offending him), preferring to see it as something akin to standing up for my principles in the face of peer pressure and societal norms. He probably would have been uber-impressed if I had known the above technique, but that would have defeated the purpose because then I would have had to eat that gross frosting. When faced with that much frosting one must use discretion.
That first dog poop cupcake looks SOOO good! And I think the breast cancer awareness frosting kind of looks like a breast… no?
Ah! A cupcake sandwich! Brilliant. I never thought of that frosting technique looking like dog poop until now. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Totally. You totally get it.
I can gracefully eat cupcakes again now that I have been properly taught. Such a simple technique, it was one of those, “Oh, why didn’t I think of that” moments.
You are hilarious…I prefer the little bite-size cupcakes so you can just eat the whole thing at once with no guilt.
I will never find another “dog poop” cupcake appealing. Thanks a lot MMM! Your mind is in the gutter 🙂 I actually love the show cupcake wars. my husband is ok with me watching a show that makes me want to bake more cupcakes. Also a warning, when you buy a cupcake from those shops be sure you know the ingredients. I bought what I thought was a chocolate salted caramel frosted cupcake. one bite was all I got before I realized it was a coffee salted caramel cupcake 🙁 My streak of never having tried coffee ended thusly. Thankfully my streak for not smoking or drinking alcohol are still intact.
I feel like I have done my duty today.
hahahaha you said “duty”!
I found this post so disappointing…WHERE is you Wife’s cupcake recipe? I too am a frosting to the very edge of the cupcake kind of girl.
I second that request.
Third…
I would totally love the recipe!
Thank you! I loathe cupcakes on principle (I am a pie girl), and I married into a Food Network family earlier this year. We abstain from Cupcake Wars. When I have to produce cupcakes for a social occasion, rest assured that they are classically frosted/iced. (When I was growing up, cakes were frosted and cookies were iced; or was it the other way around? It’s been a long, long time since I grew up.) Thank you for five minutes of silent, helpless laughter.
I prefer the frosting to cupcake ratio on the dog poo ones. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s running out of frosting before cupcake.
I durst not speak against the d-p cupcake as a beloved FOMW produces such. At least hers are delicious beyond expression. However I do agree with your criteria for frosting. Except I probably would not mind as much as I should if delicous frosting (spread to the very edge) were as tall as or even taller than the actual cupcake.
I found the video very helpful & look forward to trying the technique at the next opportunity, although I am no gentleman.
FOMW? Genius!