1,000 Years of PB&Js

I spent yesterday morning at the LDS Cannery stacking boxes onto pallets.  Why?  Because I’m super-righteous like that.  (I say that with all humility.)

Not really – I did spend the morning at the Cannery stacking boxes onto pallets, but not because I’m super-righteous, but because I’m NOT super-righteous. I just figure that I need to take any opportunity to offset the scales of justice that are usually tilting against me at a 45 degree angle or more.

My task was to take boxes full of jelly and stack them on a pallet. It wasn’t as mindless as you might think – I had to make sure the printing on the box showed to the outside of the pallet, and stack them four cases high. OK, it was mindless, but it was a Celestial Law sort of mindless.

After about 3 hours, I turned to the man next to me, the “fold down the flaps and tape the box guy” and said:

“I sure hope this isn’t my assignment in the Millennium.”

He looked at me, confused.

“I don’t get it.” He said, searching for a punchline.

“No, I mean it. I hope I don’t spend 1,000 years stacking boxes of jelly onto pallets.”

He just blinked.  I figured some instruction was in order.

“You know there are going to be mortals on the earth during the Millennium, right?”

He blinked again, so I continued, all while remaining vigilant my box stacking. I explained the basic concept that mortal children will be born in the Millennium, and will grow up until they get old enough to be “twinkled” into immortal beings.  He seemed skeptical, so I suggested he go look up some scriptures in the Doctrine & Covenants.

Here they are:

“And the earth shall be given unto them for an inheritance; and they shall multiply and wax strong, and their children shall grow up without sin unto salvation.” (D&C 45:58)

“And in that day, an infant shall not die until he is old; and his life shall be as the age of a tree.” (D&C 101:30)

The way I see it, in the early days of the Millennium, I figure there will be a lot of mortal kids running around, and we’ve gotta feed them something. These mortal kids will probably cause a lot of mischief because their immortal parents are busy with family history. (I have absolutely no doctrinal backing for that last assertion.)

So somebody has to make the jelly. And bake the bread, and grow the peanuts, and make peanut butter, and run the landfill.  You know, Millennium stuff!

Which begs the question, when that day comes, will the Cannery re-tool to make chicken nuggets?

So when I say, I hope I don’t have to stack boxes onto pallets for 1,000 years, I am making a huge assumption that I will actually be here the whole 1,000 years. If I am, I hope I can trade with the guy that tapes the boxes every decade or so.

About the author


  1. How did I miss this post?
    I think I would like answers to Anah’s questions. About milk, supply and pregnancy…. Grab a hold of those and tackle them would ya?

  2. One time I had a cannery assignment of screwing lids on jars of spaghetti sauce. For about three minutes I felt like I was on Laverne and Shirley (conveyor belts! What a hoot!). The other two hours and fifty-seven minutes made me want to run screaming from Welfare Square.

  3. I hope I’m not setting up chairs for The Second Coming. Maybe I can sew jewels on crowns? Except, I can’t sew…..

  4. Maybe he assumed everyone would be eating manna, which I imagine looking a lot like potato pearls. I hope it’s not potato pearls.

    1. This comment cracked me up!

      We eat lots of potato pearls *BUT* don’t prepare them according to directions. The directions make really dry, yucky, stick to the roof of your mouth, paste type potatoes. We use chicken broth instead of water, then add milk till they’re moist and creamy like potatoes should be. If it’s a throw care to the wind kind of night, we add sour cream or butter. Then mix in McCormick Perfect Pinch roasted garlic and bell pepper seasoning to taste. Gotta have flavor…lots and lots of flavor. That way we don’t have to mess with gravy either.

    2. I’m going to give y’all the scoop on manna. It’s burritos. What else could include every food group necessary for survival? Plus, if made correctly (and of course heaven burritos would be) they wouldn’t fall apart when they rain down from the sky. I’m pretty sure that every description that indicates that manna is not burritos was a mistranslation.

    1. oooh, let’s make this another topic, please! it’s a bit to wrap my mind around, the topic was just introduced to me yesterday in fact.

      Opposition is necessary in all things. However, loosing a third of the hosts of heaven were not part of the plan (the plan being a plan of salvation for everyone), therefore would that extend to Satan not being necessary? if so, how!? where would that opposition come from?

      I would love this as a post. hint hint. 🙂

  5. I often wonder if mothers who were nursing when their infants die will get their milk supply again. 🙂 And how do miscarriages work? Are you just all of a sudden 4 or 5 or 6 months pregnant? And what about multiple miscarriages? Do those sweet spirits have to wait their turn in birth order? And although it truly breaks my heart when I hear about young deaths, I am eternally grateful that my daughter will have playmates, and that we’ll have littles running around to spread their innocent joy.

  6. “These mortal kids will probably cause a lot of mischief…”

    That notion fuels another debate: do children cause mischief because of themselves or because they are tempted? Satan will, of course, be bound during the millennium until the very end.

    1. Yes, you’re right, of course. There’s probably some sinless mischief even among older folks than two-year-olds — or just plain sinless mistakes. I assume people will still be learning in the millennium. (Hope so, anyway.)

Add your 2¢. (Be nice.)