I just returned from spending a week in Canada. British Columbia to be precise. After living amongst the Canadians for 6 days/5 nights, I am ready to share my opinion:
Canadians are really nice.
I’m serious – they are really, really nice. And polite. And they smile a lot. It was the top thing I noticed, other than how beautiful BC is, and how much Canadians like to eat “poutine.”
When you travel, you expect people to be nice, because they are looking for your business, or a tip. But there were many instances where people went out of their way to be nice when they had no vested interest in help us – giving directions, letting us merge in traffic, explaining what “poutine” is, etc.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. All of the Canadians that I personally know are very nice people, and I don’t know any Canadians that aren’t really nice. So in MY personal experience, all Canadians are nice.
So I broadened the search. I looked up a list of Famous Canadians, and I couldn’t find anyone on the list that I don’t think is nice. Who is gonna argue that Michael J. Fox and John Candy aren’t lovable?
Therefore, based on my research and personal anecdotal experience, I have determined that all Canadians are very kind, nice people.
What? You think that I am making an overly-broad assumption, based on an overly small statistical sampling of Canadians? Possibly – but even with the small sample I am at 100% nice.
Or maybe you think that I am merely buying into a stereotype that has been foisted upon Canadians? And stereotypes are bad, right?
Right or wrong, stereotypes are very real, and easily generated. Props to the Canadians for treating me in such a way that I came to the conclusion that all Canadians are nice after only 6 days. Yes, I know that there must be a few bad apples in the Great White North, but I didn’t meet them.
As I was thinking about how quickly I formed this positive bias towards Canadians, I began to wonder about Mormons.
When people associate with Mormons, what stereotype do they walk away with first? That they are kind, and friendly? That they are cliquish and standoffish?
If they showed up to a church meeting, would they find kindness and interest, disinterest, or people brawling over pews? And how many experiences would it take to establish a stereotype that they would then carry with them? Is one enough?
Here’s the better question: How do MY actions perpetuate a Mormon stereotype? If someone has a pre-conceived belief that Mormons are kind and nice, would their interaction with me help solidify that stereotype, or would my actions stand in contrast?
If someone outside the church had a belief that Mormons were rude and unkind, would the way I interact with them reenforce their belief, or help to shatter it?
Usually, when I return from a trip, I have something I want to do – lose weight, learn a new skill, make more money to go on another trip, etc. This time, I want to try and be more careful about how nice I am to people that I don’t need to be nice to. You know – the idiot bagger at the grocery store who puts the 12-pack on top of the bread, or the guy at the drive thru that forgot the fries, or the people most important in my life – my EC, my FOMLs, etc.
You know, a “Golden Rule” type kindness – Be kind first – regardless of who or why, or how it might effect me personally. I just need to be nicer.
“Eh?”
You were in BC and you didn’t stop by for a visit? For shame…I would have let you eat poutine with a bag over your head to keep your identity a secret. I hope you enjoyed your vacation in our beautiful province!
for the most part, i agree…canadians are kind. but i’m not thrilled with jim carrey…he’s famous… but canada does have tim hortons so, that more than makes up for jim carrey’s attitudes.
Wasn’t all that impressed with Tim Hortons. Do you think they’ll let me come back?
I have to agree. Tim Hortons is overrated. I was in Toronto a few weeks ago, and I did enjoy me some poutine. I also liked the ketchup potato chips.
My mother had the habit of singing a snippet of a song to us as children when we were not behaving as we should. “Kindness begins with me” was an oft repeated one.
Oh, I love Canadians. I’m a born and raised in Alberta so I’m biased of course. I remember I went on a senior high school trip to Europe and they insisted we sew on Canadian flag patches to make sure everyone absolutely knew that we were Canadian wherever we traveled. Pretty cool, eh? I highly recommend this awesome travel practice.
Re: LDS stereotypes. I remember walking around the streets of Jerusalem one day and there was a shop keeper who came up to me and said, “You are Mormon, yes? Yes. I know you are. Come into my shop. I sell you a liahona made of curious workmanship!” It was so funny and intriguiging to me. I wasn’t a BYU Jerusalem student nor did I have anything identifying my religion, yet somehow whatever the Mormon stereotype was, it stuck with this Israeli shop keeper. (Either that or he was a shrewd businessman and took a calculated guess).
I agree with you. I am a massage therapist at a country club where 64% of the home owners are from Canada. I love these people they are wonderful & friendly.
I love your blog it is awesome! Bobbi Jo
Nice.
Wonderful reminder. I could not help but contrast how we are welcomed into our son’s small branch in Texas and how ignored we are when we attend a Utah ward, perhaps not hungry to know if we are just visiting or if we have moved in and can teach a Primary class. In Hawaii we give all our visitors a crocheted lei. As a member, I can survive a little indifference, but I wonder how an investigator feels as an outsider hoping to be welcomed rather than ignored.
Sometimes it worries me that people will judge Mormons and the Church by me. I know the answer is to live the Gospel more fully every minute of every day, but I confess I am feeble, weak and sometimes lazy. A lot of people think I am nicer than I am and that’s a good thing for the church’s image I suppose, but …. gotta just keep trying.
My experience and perspective is that Canadians are very nice. My son who served a mission in Canada knows that they are not ALL nice, but he is too nice to talk about it.
Kathryn, I agree with what you say about reaching out. Too true for me as well. Also, do you know if your family name was ever McGinness? My maternal grandfather was McGinness. I will have to see if I can find out if we were ever McGinnis.
Barbara,
I have had a terrible time researching my husband’s side of the family! I suppose they could have been McGinness, considering that my dear grandfather has been found as Romeo Craddock, Roman Craddock, Roma McCrattick, and finally, Roy Collins (as I knew him). If I didn’t love genealogy so much, I would have given up loooooong ago. I’ll spend some time on Chris’ dad’s side and let you know what I find!
Barbara,
I wouldn’t be surprised if the name was spelled like that somewhere along the line. I’ve had a terrible time researching my husband’s dad’s side of the family, but I’ll dig around some more and let you know what I find. If I didn’t love genealogy so much, I would have given up long ago!
I’ve been researching my maternal grandfather for almost five years. I have seen it as Romeo Craddock, Roman Craddock, Roma Thomas Collins, and finally Roy Collins. I know something happened somewhere that necessitated the name change, but since I loved the man dearly, I’m willing to let certain secrets lie. Isn’t family history fun? 🙂
The kindness and lasting impression issues has been on my mind a lot lately so I really appreciate that you have posted about it. You’ve been a Bishop and I’ve been a RS Pres and so we both know that there are so many people out there dealing with difficult challenges who are hurting. The same situation exists outside our church family in the larger world family. How easy it is to me unkind, rude, sarcastic, thoughtless in our actions and remarks thereby hurting family, friends and complete strangers on a daily basis when what they and all of us need is a kind word and to be lifted up, even when we bag groceries incorrectly. We end up leaving bad impression and hurt feelings oft times with people we will never see again and hurting others that we interact with on a daily basis. An area that is now rampant with unkindness can now be found on Social Media where we feel somewhat hidden from view and with the feeling that we can say and whatever we want most often without thinking at all how it might be affecting others who we really know very little about. To go along with your thoughtful post on Kindness there is an article in the latest Ensign titled No Corrupt Communication, I think it balances nicely with your post, both have given me much food for thought and a desire to be more Christ like in my actions and commuications towards everyone.
I was just thinking about this. How often do I shy away from someone just because they don’t fit in? I have decided to try harder to reach out to others, especially in my ward. I want there to be fewer and fewer of my brothers and sisters who leave discouraged on Sundays because they feel alone or judged. In times of feeling sorry for myself, I often wonder why I have so few friends in the Church, but there are moments of clarity in which I realize that it starts with me. Here’s to promoting kindness and happiness!