Last week I posted some suggestions for belt loops for the Cub Scouts. They were well-received by most. Here is the link: Cub Scouts: May I suggest Something?
Since then, I have been inundated by requests (OK, not really inundated, but a handful) for suggestions for additional Young Women’s Personal Progress Values. Obviously, this was a much tougher task, because generally, the young women of the Church are wonderful girls, trying to be the best they can be. They also lack the animalistic qualities you encounter iin the Young Men’s program.
However, I am able to offer a suggestion for an additional value that over-achieving young women can work on. Maturity. The designated color is polka dot.
Maturity
Required Value Experiences
Complete the following three required value experiences. Have your parent or leader sign and date each experience after you finish.
1
Shakespeare quoted that “The eyes are the window to your soul.” For a period of two weeks, let your eyes shine brightly by not rolling them at your parents or adult leaders whenever you don’t like what they are saying. As you are not rolling your eyes, do your very best to not mumble the word “Whatever.” Share with your leader how this challenge has impacted your life.
2
King Benjamin taught that God is “lending you breath.” (Mosiah 2:21) Learn to not waste that precious gift by choosing not to audibly exhale in a dramatic fashion, so the other girls in class turn and look at you to see what could possibly be wrong. Record your feelings about how not being a drama queen has helped you gain maturity.
3
You love your mom, and she loves you. But one day you will have to do things you don’t like to do without her intervention. Make a goal to do something you are not excited about, and then go do it, instead of having your mom go to the Young Women’s leaders and explain why you are the exception and shouldn’t need to participate. For extra maturity, explain to your mom that she doesn’t need to browbeat the leaders into letting her accompany you to Girl’s Camp. Again.
Additional Value Experiences
Complete three additional value experiences. You may select from the following options or write up to two of your own. Your parent or leader must approve those you write yourself before you begin. Have your parent or leader sign and date each experience after you finish.
4
Say what you mean, mean what you say. When posting on Facebook or Twitter, learn to actually say something, rather than throw out vague references that make people worry about you, just to get attention. Example: Bad: “I hate myself. Sometimes I think it isn’t worth it anymore.” Good: I bombed my math test today, and I might have to drop my class.”
5
Be aware. One day soon, you will be in charge of getting to where you are supposed to be by yourself. Make a calendar, either on your phone, or with scrapbooking materials. Whenever you are told about an activity, assignment of meeting, write it down in your calendar. That way, nobody has to call and remind you, or ask why you didn’t remember to come, and your mom doesn’t have to call the YW President and yell at her for “not keeping my daughter informed.”
6
Study the meaning of addiction. Discuss what it means with a parent or leader. Next, turn off your phone during Mutual and Sunday Meetings. Do you very best. As you begin to gain better self-mastery, start reducing the number of texts, tweets, Instagram and Facebook posts by half every month. Within a year, you should have reduced that number to well below 200 per day. Track your progress in your journal, or on your blog. Or on Facebook
7
Throw them out. You know those skirts that you wear to church – the ones that you are constantly pulling down to cover your thighs? It is time to live the standards of modesty. In addition, with the help of your mother, evaluate your shirts and blouses, using the following criteria: If a dermatologist can check your back for moles while you are wearing the shirt, it is too tight. Toss it. Oh, and bikinis? It is time for both you andyour mom to retire them.
Value Project
P
After you have completed six knowledge value experiences, you may begin this required value project.
Single out that girl in your class that you and your friends previously decided is not worthy of your friendship, and stop gossiping about her. Instead, be nice to her. Encourage your friends to ignore all the harsh things you said about her previously, and accept the girl into your clique. Do not take pictures of this project to share on Instagram.
Awesome! I’m forwarding this to my own daughters now! Btw, the other “Values” in the workbook could use some updating, especially for this generation with very short attention spans. As a 12year old with ADHD, I managed to earn dozens of girl scout badges, but never made it through more than a third of the YW manual. I like that you give specific examples.
Teehee! You know, a few of the girls in my Young Women group could probably actually use this…
I have two wonderful married daughters, so I’ve been through it before, and an 8-year-old daughter. I’m going to add this to her personal progress!! Love it! I think I’ll even take her out for dinner or have some other sort of celebration when she has completed this value!
Glad I finally found you..this really made me laugh because it’s right on and, I think, seriously needed. I’m going to share it with my 15-year old granddaughter and her mom. Thanks!
PS When I feel the need to use the “c” or “s” or “bs” word(s)…I say, “El toro poopoo” instead. What the heck…
I think all youth not just the young women need to be modest. There is a time and place for young men to go with out a shirt and that should only be while they are swimming. I was taught that you should dress as if you wear garments even as a youth to help you prepare for when that day comes. My 15 yr old son doesn’t just go without a shirt for the fun of it or just because he can. He has respect for himself and others enough to not go bare chested. Just my 2 cents.
I agree – but the post was’t about Young Men.
I came across this post via Pinterest. I love your idea, but might I suggest a different name for the value? Instead of maturity – let’s call it “Dignity.” Girls have the right to behave with what you are calling immaturity now and then, they are enjoying the last years of their childhood and protection under their parents’ roof. Their male peers certainly are not being held to the same standard – though of course they really ought to be.
Most of the behaviors you describe, however, are a necessary part of growing up and determining how they want to be different than their parents, leaders, and friends. As well as the ways in which they do most want to emulate them. If they are to rebel or explore their doubts, is it not better and safer for them to do so while still living at home, than when they go away to school? All of this can and should be done with dignity however. It comes from another YW value – understanding their Divine Nature. Dignity would remind and enable a girl to disagree with her mother but to do so with respectful language and honest self-expression.
I hope your comment was meant in a satirical manner. If so, it was hilarious. Bad manners, vanity and rudeness are not a “right” nor are they a “necessary part of growing up.” Please don’t enable, or lack faith that our young women, or young men can be great.
You have submitted this to the General YW Presidency, right? I mean really, right??!
This is offensive on so many levels.
Please write back after you have some life experience and develop a sense of humor.
This is awesome (and a fun read)! It think Maturity would be a great thing to add to the young woman values! It seems teenagers are becoming more and more immature with each passing year. Not all young woman need this, but a lot do. 🙂
Ha this was pretty good!
Awesome! Truly.
It might just save your life:
http://www.theonion.com/video/braindead-teen-only-capable-of-rolling-eyes-and-te,27225/
One of my all-time favourites of your posts – and I pretty much say ‘amen’ to all of them. Or at least can smile in acknowledgement. Going to pass this along. Thanks.
LOVED this post!!! I was the Beehive Adviser in our ward and, while our girls were generally good, they are still girls with drama filled lives. Funny thing though, it was usually the older girls that I saw doing the eye rolling and bringing mommy to girls camp stuff. Anyway, again, I loved this post! Thanks for sharing!
haha….the additional value experiences are my favorite!
As a mom of 3 girls and as a Beehive adviser- I loved this! It is so true. I’m confused by the rude comments, because there wasn’t anything to be offended about. I love the humor you used yet still were very much spot on with what the girls need to work on.
I understand this is a joke, and I am a Seminary teacher so I deal with the young women and young men on a daily basis (at 6 in the morning no less), so I get it. I just wish we had more things online that uplifted our youth instead of pointed out their flaws. “Youth need less critics and more models,” -Gordon B. Hinckley. Some of the youth in my class are challenging, to be sure, but we ask so much of our youth- they come to seminary, go to activities, work on scouting and personal progress, now they are teaching on Sundays with the new curriculum, and many of them serve in class presidencies. This is in addition to school, homework, extracurricular activities, chores and part-time jobs. Yet there are a lot of adults who want to put them down or point out what they do wrong, while these adults don’t even read their scriptures every day, or maximize their pwn callings. Like I said, I know this is a joke, I’d just like it if I felt like so much of what the people say about the youth seems to be negative.
Did you even read the 2nd paragraph? (The one where I point out how the majority of the youth are fabulous?) But, to address your point, most everything that surrounds the youth is positive, praising and upbeat – even if they don’t merit the praise. False praise is heaped on our youth all the time – especially in YW. Unfortunately, too many parents, leaders, teachers, etc lack the courage and confidence to challenge the youth to step up and rise to the challenge of being better. Instead, they are coddled, and humored, and told how great they are. I have faith that they can step it up to a higher level without being coddled.
This was a joke, but it was also very serious. It is a sad day when a YW leader is afraid to tell some girls to turn off their phones. But it happens.
Polka dot? Blech. Why not chevron or plaid?
That’s it? That is your comment?
I love this! Every shopping adventure, I remind my daughter as we walk in the doors “modesty matters” Now, at 14, it is very rare that I have to ‘no’ a top or skirt, she knows where the line is. I clicked over and read the scout loops, too. Fantastic! As my 3 sons are all beyond this point in their childhood (11-16)yrs, I would love to see Boy Scout practical application loops. Such as Averting Eyes – yes, physically turning away from the girls that lack modesty & extra points for voicing disapproval or discomfort when the girl is a friend. Door opener – open doors for ladies (from wee to woman), elderly and those with packages without a rib-poke from mom. Handyman – Literally, offer your hands. While in the parking lot of a home improvement store and you see someone struggle getting a heavy item into their trunk/truck, assist & extra points for offering to assist when you notice a large item in their cart, before the struggle begins, especially with the ladies. Word worthy – Even when, especially when, in the company of your peers, keep your words honorable. Whether it be the language chosen or the subject of discussion, if you wouldn’t say it in front of your mom, don’t say it in front of anyone, & extra points if you offer the same advice to your friends or walk away from a distasteful conversation. …. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. One of my favorite quotes: Maybe more men would stand up and be gentlemen if more women would sit down and be ladies. (unknown)
As a YW president who just survived the terror that is girls camp I loved number 3. Oh my gosh, your child can survive without you for a week!
Amen, sister! We had a mom drive 2 1/2 hours to camp because her 15 year old daughter had called her (with the cell phone she was not supposed to have) in hysterics because another girl in the tent might have noticed that there were tampons in her duffle bag. The horror.
bwahahahaha!
Being in Young Woman’s for almost two years, I have seen that the girls who do there personal progress. Are generally better off then the ones who only do it at mutual.
I am a Personal Progress Adviser. I think I will just add this and tell them the books are being updated. And I agree about the Moms, some need to work on this value as well.
Love this, and I agree with Trina – would be nice if the moms and leaders took this value to heart, too!
Love this, and I agree with Trina – would be nice if the moms and leaders took this value to heart as well!
I am totally using this post–with my boys. Many of these things apply to my boys as much as they do to girls. Doing things on their own, not rolling their eyes and saying “whatevs,” being responsible, not audibly exhaling in the home as a response to, well, just about everything having to do with chores and responsibility. . . .
Thanks for my next FHE lesson. If I had girls, I would use this with them, too. But since I have boys, a couple of very minor changes makes this a great object lesson for YW & YM.
Excellent and spot on!
We have a wonderful Bishop who from the stand told the youth, no media during class times or seminary, or the parents would be notified. I like his stance! It’s just plain good manners!
MMM…
You nailed it, again. I think that this “value” is one that could apply to some mothers as well as their daughters.
You rock.
MMM, as the mother of 4 girls, a girls camp cabin mom 7 years in a row, former YW leader, and seminary teacher, I found this amazingly insightful and funny.
Thanks.
I wish I would’ve read this before being called as YW president last year, so many of these are painfully true and having a heads up would have been nice!! I also wish it was a little funnier so I could share it on FB but I’m pretty sure some of these hit way too close to home so be funny to the YW and parents in my ward…
What? It has to be funny to be valuable enough to share? Sounds like there is a need….
A to the MEN! I wonder, as I am re-doing Personal Progress for myself this year, if I ask the bishop if I can present the new value in Sac Mtg?
MMM, you are obviously a father of daughters OR your wife has served as Young Women President far too long.
Your new ‘Value’ and the Experiences and Project are truly inspired! I have two daughters (now grown and married), but would have loved the extra page in their Personal Project books. Luckily maturity does seem to eventually occur for those who move out on their own. Pay day for Mom when those great value experiences become real, day-to-day life.
Bless you! I’m the mom of 4 girls (14-2) (sigh) & finally 1 boy. This is SO appropriate its ridiculous. Luckily my 14 year old is pretty amazing.
GREAT!
I’m 20 yrs old and I’m working my Personal Progress for the second time and I do love your idea for a new Value. I’ll work on it even I’m no longer a young woman. Thanks a lot. You really help/save the daughters of God. (clap clap clap)
Oh, how I love this. This is the stuff I’m constantly harping about to my Laurels. I have an addition for number 7. I don’t want to see cleavage when you bend down, and that includes bum cleavage in the back. Man oh man, I am soooooo tired of looking at bum cleavage at mutual activities. Ridiculous low-rider jeans.
I always tell my girls that the only cleavage I should see is between their toes.
Having served in Young womens longer than any other calling, I can attest that this is all true. And the fact that you have approached it with humor makes it fun while still getting the point across. We can and should be setting the bar higher with our Young Women. Great post my friend
my see the bishop check mark was serious. Then he goes to the stake president and he goes to the area authority 70 and so on. Or just share with this the YW president.
Is there such a thing as an award for Blogger of the Year? I’m sure that you would win but how would they present it?? Maybe they could just put it on display at the Church Museum.
You sweet talker, you.
Love it!!!
I love this! (Oh, and I went to every year of Girl’s Camp with my daughter except one, but it wasn’t my fault if I was the YW President, then Stake Camp Director… 😉
Priceless.
I love your humor. All too true. I have served for the last 18 years in YW.
Your YW value and Cub belt loop blog is priceless!
Hahaha, this is great stuff! And I love “The designated color is polka dot.” But as pretty much everybody else posted, it would be funnier if it wasn’t so true. The other day I got a message from one of the girls I worked with as her YW president, and she told me that back then, she really thought I was annoying, but now she was like “Dang, I should’ve done what she as telling me to do, now I understand that she was truly concerned about me”.
I’m so sending this to the YW president in my ward =)
Awesome
I am seriously wondering what is wrong (or right?) with my girls. My older daughter has a cell phone (which she pays for) but really doesn’t text much. She is almost never on facebook and does not do twitter, instagram or anything like it. My younger daughter (13) does not have a facebook, or twitter or instagram account or a cell phone. They don’t roll their eyes at me, and almost never say whatever (at least not in the context you used. While I can’t really say what they do in Young Womens, I can’t imagine either of them sitting in the back sighing. I have never attended YW camp or called to yell at a leader. My girls are pretty much up for anything. They are not perfect, but overall I think my daughters are pretty great. (ok, in an effort to keep it real, one of my daughters is kind of a slob and the other forgets everything 10 minutes after you tell her.) My sons are great too. (Their leaders are awesome as well.)
nothing wrong with your daughters. they are simply not allowing the media and cultural limitations for women to define them. good for them.
Unfofortunaty too many parents are much too soft, that’s the problem as I see it. And I dont’t mean that you should be hard, but so many parents don’t seem to understand that all these things that we are tought will make us happy is just as important for children and youth as they are to adaults. Our cildren are humans too and above all else, they are more Heavanly Father’s children than ours so how dare we not theach them the best, just to be more populare, wish by the way isn’t working. When they feel that we are real they will treat us respectfully.
As a mother of three boys plus one on the way, this make me feel a ton better about having all boys. I can deal with nose picking, shirt and book finding, all their messes, etc. and I’m especially looking forward to having a mowing service in about 4 years. I know there’s still other issues to deal with for boys, but overall I’m perfectly happy with my little animals.
I like what someone said earlier about it starting out funny and getting real fast. As a young women president, it really is hilarious to me, and so painfully true.
You forgot to add that this new polka dot value needs to be the first one they work on so that all of the others come a lot easier.
Oh wow, that value project really hits home. I’ve seen many young people on our wards excluded like that, and have been the victim of it myself a few times. I’ve also had the joy of being on the other end of the spectrum and being welcomed by the young women of my ward. You really called this one, MMM.
I found the Cub Scout one just as “true” as this post. Cub scouts are barely above cave man in function.
I think this is all spot on! I think you were trying to be comical with heavy tones of serious (correct me if I’m wrong) I love it either way. I really think with a little different wording in a few spots this could become a ‘real’ value to add into their manual! At least it will be one I add into my own girls set of values they are to pass off! Well done sir! well done!
I found you through a friend of Facebook
I agree with Tonya– I wish this were funnier because it were less TRUE!
But you’ve nailed this one, MMM. I really hope these get put in the next printed version. 😉
Hugs,
Mama Rachel
If only it were this easy. I’m trying to get her to do the other values. Baby steps.
Okay, a friend sent this to me today and I am so glad. I am now following your blog. You are hilarious and humor is one of my favorite things in life. I am currently serving as a YW President and have served in YW more times than I can count. Still laughing…
As the Mother of 4 girls and also YW President for three of them I had to laugh, but there are some sad truths in there.
What made me sad here is that the cub belt loop post was funny and this one isn’t–it’s a real thing. I wish it was funny. It started out funny but then got real fast. Nose picking is funny and is easy to talk to (especially) a boy about, but how do you really get a girl to think about her clothes, her media, her attitude? Oi, you see things very clearly and sometimes it scares the crap out of me when it is in print like this. But maybe now your work will get mentioned in general conference, eh? Maybe it will get added to the new curriculum, at least 😉
precisely why it needs to be talked about.
I didn’t read the Boy Scout one (gasp!…I’m busy, I don’t get to all of them). But, this was kind of a “funny because it’s so true” thing.
Our biggest battle with our 16 yr old is social media. She is rarely without her iPod in her hand. We had to make a rule at home when our friends or hers come over that “people present trump people online” always! If anyone catches her tweeting, texting (with anyone other than her brother) or FB-ing while we (or she) has friends over, she forfeits online access for a week. I better not see it at dinner, either, or hear that she had it in seminary, YW or church. Lots of eye rolling, weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth at first, but she’s better about it now. We’ll see if it holds when she’s off on her own…
But the eyes are the only weapon I have left when my parents are being ridiculous! I can go in my room and roll my eyes until I feel better!
(Now that I typed that, I can’t remember if I’m being sarcastic or not. Whoops. We’ll assume sarcasm.)
As a mom of 3 girls (my youngest being 17) and as a Stake YW Pres (currently serving for the 2nd time) let me just say AMEN! This is fabulous! Thanks for starting my Friday out w/a smile. 😀
My favorite MMM post ever…
Having recently been released from YW leadership, I enjoyed this post. : )
as the mom of four girls, you make me sound like an enabling idiot. 😀
Seriously! Dads who take the time to write this crap should tell their daughters not to dress immodest
Crap? I thought it was pretty good. And u never had to remind my daughter about modesty- she understood.
Cannonball – MMM comes at it from more than just a Dad perspective, but as a Bishop perspective who is well acquainted with the youth, both the boys and the girls. Sadly, much of it is true, and serously, we need to raise the bar with our Young Women.
And, finally, I find it offensive that you used the word crap. It was a great post stating truth sprinkled with humor. Don’t like it? Move on…
MMM… I wish I could “like” comments on your blog… :p
Can I just say how happy I am to have people that tell the truth. No pussyfooting around. Just real. I appreciate that. And I appreciate your blog. I learn more every day about how I want to bring up my own sons and daughters. Thank you for taking the time to write this “crap”.
Cannonball,
As the head writer for Constipated Magazine, I know all about poop. This doesn’t even come close.
I loved this humorous challenge for Young Women to raise the bar. Well done, MMM.
Sent it to my sister…who after three boys, finally got her girl. Then was called as a YW president. She decided boys were easier because they were more straightforward, no eye-rolling “whatever”. No whispering, backbiting crap either. Her daughter was about six at the time, as was mine (I’d only had one boy).
My daughter is now 16, and this made me laugh hard enough to find an inhaler. While we have very few problems with modesty, and she would DIE if I got called as camp leader, every other one was spot on. I loved it.
Laughter induced asthma attacks are the highest form of praise. Thanks so much!
As a mom of 3 girls and a former YW leader I personally think that he is spot on- with an edge of humor. Us women need to learn how to laugh at ourselves and our wonky attitudes at times. In addition I totally agree with Monique and that we need to be brutally honest with our honest, whether we are their leaders or their parents, and not step around the topic or situation!
I love you sense of realism. I just there was program for the mom you write about here, so she would know that if she possessed this value she could make many of these things happen for her daughters and not be making the affore mentioned phone calls.
There is truth in jest, and that’s what makes it so funny. As moms, I suspect many of us have done our own fair share of being “enabling idiots”, and chewing out leaders when we should have been chewing out our kids. A tongue in cheek reminder is certainly called for. Moms and girls both wear and shop for female clothing…which is why it’s perfectly fair to assign responsibility to the mother to help her daughters. This was my first exposure to MMM. How very fun, intelligent, and humorous!
I especially appreciated number 6 and the advice at the end of it. Fun post.