I spent some time this morning reading the news. It can be a difficult experience. There is so much that is wrong with the world right now, and so many things to worry about. But as I clicked more links, including celebrity and church news, I began to look at my life a little differently: Maybe I should count my blessings. There are a LOT of things out there that people worry about that I don’t need to worry about. My life is pretty easy in comparison, and that gives me comfort.
So, as November seems to take form as the month where we actually express our gratitude, here are some things that I do not have to worry about – and for that, I am truly grateful.
I do not worry about….
• My accountant embezzling millions from my offshore accounts.
• Spousal Support payments.
• What table centerpiece to use for my lesson on Sunday
• My health insurance plan being cancelled. (Only because it already did.)
• Being featured on “What Not to Wear.”
• My daughter growing up to be Miley Cyrus.
• Dropping $15 on the new Eminem album.
• People hacking my phone and posting nude pictures of me on the internet. (Sorry for the visual.)
• Getting my footwork right on DWTS.
• Moroni waking me up 3 times during the night.
• Global Warming.
• My 4th year option being picked up.
• Being translated.
• Looking emaciated.
• Looking clumsy walking on 5″ heels.
• Being lost at sea in my yacht.
• Having my approval rating plummet to below 40%. (Assuming it is over 40%)
• Standing too close to an exploding whale. (LInk here.)
• Patrick Jane is actually Red John.
• My smartphone being too full of “selfies” to take any more pictures.
• People rebutting this post with 1,000 word comments.
• Feeling inadequate as a replacement for Christian Bale as Batman.
• My EC starring in a new reality series “The Real Housewives of Zion.”
• Being force-fed at Gitmo.
• Making the cut for the Boston Marathon. (Props to Mcat!)
• Being stranded on a deserted island with Lady GaGa, or going to one of her concerts.
• Arguing with my editor.
• Wine pairings.
• Feeling groggy from getting too much sleep.
• Proofreading.
• The NSA monitoring my cellphone calls – they would be bored to tears.
• Having my heart broken by one of the Kardashian sisters.
• Waiting for the phone to ring, and being told, “Please hold for President Monson.”
See? There is so much out there that I DON’T need to worry about, that I can now go tackle the things that I DO need to worry about.
The lesson here: Quit yer bellyaching – you could have been caught coming out of a brothel with Justin Bieber.
I laughed at You not having to worry about Moroni waking you up three times a night. Then I laughed harder when I realized I *have* had this problem. (We named our eighth child Moroni.)
That is hysterical.
😀
Real housewives of Zion? I am dying with laughter. As for President Monson calling…I came home to a message from my 10 year-old that President Monson’s wife called and left a message for me to call her back. Apparently she sounded upset. I was dumbfounded. The only reason I even entertained the thought that it might be true was because my great-uncle had served in Canada under President Monson when he was a mission president there. My uncle died of cancer and President Monson spoke at his funeral. I was young, but still….how do you forget that? Some panicked thoughts went through my mind wondering what I possibly could have done. Then I sadly remembered that sweet Sister Monson had recently passed away so unless she was calling from Heaven, it couldn’t be her. A quick look at caller ID proved it to be a lady in our ward with the last name Monson. My daughter didn’t know that lady so the only Monson on her mind was President Monson. I still can’t believe she really thought the Prophet’s wife would call me and that for 30 seconds I panicked wondering why. Blonde moment 🙂
Love the “Woken up 3 times by Moroni”. That made me laugh. I’m so grumpy when I get woken up…I can imagine Moroni saying “sorry, wrong address!”
Good One 😉
I liked it.
Pretty stressed myself right now, on several levels, not the least of which is my concern about where our nation and the world are, and are headed, which combined with challenging aspects of my own situation, leaves me feeling pretty desperate, so much so that I realize that I have no choice but to just trust in The Lord, – and immediately I find I am relieved. Then the parallel between forced reliance on the Lord, and forced humility (Alma 32:14) comes to mind, and I realize how much stress I could have avoided by simply relying on Him from the git-go. Doh!
Thanks for the fun this morning. I laughed outloud when I got to #10. And I hope you tell your EC that she would totally be the star if there was such a show!
Real Housewives of Zion…you might actually have a Bravo TV exec give you a call about that idea…seriously, I love your humor here. A great reminder that many of us really do worry too much! Thanks.
Okay- but I sincerely want for the to be a Real Housewives of Zion now. Maybe not—cuz we don’t need any more media scrutiny or excuses for people to criticize, but the idea is definitely hilarious.
Ok, so I don’t even know who Patrick Jane and/or Red John are… guess you can tell I don’t watch the news (or any TV) much. But I’m following the link for the exploding whale… 🙂
What’s funny is just a few minutes (literally) before I read your post I was near tears and overwhelmed with the stress of my life. I’m coming down with clearly stress-related illnesses and I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. Then the thought occurred, “You know what? You’re really very blessed. You’re warm, clothed, not hungry, and your children aren’t starving, so you are very privileged.” Not more than a few seconds later (no kidding) your post popped up in my email inbox. Brilliant! Timely! Appropos! Thank you very much. 🙂
Calling this post clever seems so inadequate. It is pure genius on so many levels.
Love it!
I see I’m not the only one caught of guard here. Patrick Jane is Red John? I shouldn’t have stopped watching two seasons ago.
You are so awesome. I’ve been in a pity pit of late. Thank you for helping me feel better for the moment. <3
Patrick Jane is actually Red John!?!? I’ve got some catching up to do…
The exploding whale was hilarious and so gross all at once. Thanks for sharing that little piece of history with us. That engineer was awesome.
Nice twist on the Gratitude month idea.
PATRICK JANE IS RED JOHN?!?
I know! I was scrolling through, ya..ya..ya..then boom! Heart attack!