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Our Family Temple

Temple haloToday is a big day for the saints in Arizona. Any time a new temple is dedicated, it is a big day. In February, I had the privilege of attending the open house for the new temple in Gilbert, Arizona (link). It was a great experience. Today that temple will be dedicated, and it is – rightfully – a big deal.

Last month, President Uchtdorf spoke about the importance of temples at a devotional in the Tabernacle.  One of the things he said was this:

“A temple is literally a house of the Lord. A place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.” (link)

Does that sound familiar? You may no recognize it, because you’ve probably heard it before. It is a direct quote from the bible dictionary, under the word “Temple,” and has been used in General Conference talks, manuals, and websites.

Obviously, it is a concept that is widely taught and, hopefully, understood. Just to make sure, let’s read it again, this time, with a specific emphasis:

“A temple is literally a house of the Lord. A place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.”

We should probably pause for a moment and chew on that sentence. President Boyd K. Packer spent some time thinking about it – and here is his conclusion:

“Temple. One other word is equal in importance to a Latter-day Saint.Home. Put the words holy temple and home together, and you have described the house of the Lord!” (“The Temple, The Priesthood”)

I’m trying to figure out how the planets would have to align for you to come into my home and mistake it for a temple.

If you came to visit, I wouldn’t ask you for a recommend. I would not expect you to wear your best clothes. I wouldn’t insist that you take off your shoes (I consider that to be rude to my guests.)

Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.

Our house is clean – most of the time.

We have a better cafeteria.

It has been dedicated, by the Priesthood as a sacred place.

We don’t have volunteers coming in to do our laundry.

It is a place of love.

Our home is a place of refuge from the world.

It is a place where the Spirit can – and does – dwell.

It is a house of prayer.

We do study the Lord’s teachings here.

It is a place of continual learning.

There is much service that goes on here, but I will admit that it is a little lopsided. It is where we are the most real version of ourselves – for good or ill.

But I am first to admit, that I don’t think of the sacredness of my home rivaling the sacredness of the temple often enough. Nor do I adjust my temperament when I return home with the same care that I do when I am entering the Temple.

In our home you might hear a tone of voice, a conversation, or an attitude –  from any of us – that would be strikingly out of place in the temple. But there are moments when things come together, and that same “peace” can be found.

Some years ago, a fabulous, active young couple made an appointment to see me in the bishop’s office. (Story used with permission) They sat down and I asked them how they were doing. They looked concern, and the wife spoke up and told me of their problem:

“We think our home is possessed.”

I might have appeared calm and collected on the outside, but inside I was freaking out.

They went on to describe how when they entered there home they felt a darkness that frightened them, and that, at times, they would hear noises that couldn’t be explained. They were sincere, and rightfully concerned. They asked me what they should do.

By now my freaking out had turned to inward prayer, searching for what the Lord would have me counsel them.

We talked about many things, personal worthiness, their relationship, etc. I then felt to ask them if they had ever dedicated their home. They had not. We took a few minutes to go over the instructions in the Handbook regarding the dedication of homes. (link) The brother took the challenge to do perform this priesthood blessing, and that they would report back.

Right before we were ready to wrap up, I was prompted to ask them a simple question:

“What kind of stuff do you guys watch on TV?”

They both looked a little sheepish, and answered that they were really big movie fans, and had a large collection of DVDs. I asked them to tell me about them.

As they described them, things became a little clearer. Lots of zombies, horror movies, violent movies, R-rated movies, and other themes that would cause a bishop concern.

It was like alight-bulb went off for both of them. They had not made the connection that the things they brought into their home would impact the sacredness of their home. They voluntarily committed – on the spot – to go home and purge their video collection, and rein in what they watched on TV.

After the purge, and the dedication of their home, the darkness never returned, and the problems never resurfaced.

What kind of stuff do we let into our homes that we would never think about bringing into the temple?

I was a Stephen King fan in my earlier life. I was quick to read everything he wrote. Then, I stopped. It occurred to me that the language and subject matter were in direct contrast to the type of man I want to be. I also did not want those kind of books sitting on my bookshelves, representing to my family what is acceptable.

Occasionally, I will be prompted to “purge,” the TV shows that I watch. Often, we will begin to watch a new series, hoping it will be fun, but after one or two episodes, it becomes apparent that it shouldn’t be something that we bring into our home.

I am not an anti-TV-ite. But I am more careful than I used to be.

I love to read novels, but again, I am more careful than I used to be.

There are times when you could enter into our home and find a temple-like peace. There are also times you could enter our home and find a cage-match atmosphere.

We are working on that.

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Comments

  1. Nice post.

    We just got netnanny to reduce the amount of worldly stuff entering our home on the internet, very happy with that improvement!

  2. I did not grow up with taking my shoes off in the home but as I have traveled throughout the world, I have come across countries where this is expected at the entrance of the home. As I started to have my own apartment/home/rentals, I began to take off my shoes at the entrance and to this day (20+years) it is a request I ask of those who come into my home. I have never felt that this was a rude offering that I have asked for those who enter into my home. You may ask why do I do such a thing? The first place I lived, where shoes off at the entrance, was in Alberta, Canada. I don’t know if this is still what they do to this day but as I served my mission there (20+years ago) and attended the Calgary Alberta Temple, your outside shoes came off at the foyer inside the entrance of the temple. I’m not sure why shoes off at the entrance is a “rude” attempt in asking your visitors to do but as a Mum, it sure helps with having clean feet and less dirtiness for me to cleanup day after day… simply another thought to share in regards to those who ask of those who visit there home, to remove their shoes at the entrance. Many scriptures share to remove your shoes, for you stand on “holy ground” as well as the angel Moroni had no shoes on when he appeared to Joseph Smith. As I have traveled and see that this is not just a Canadian “thing”, I have come to feel that it does help bring the spirit just a tad bit closer to having our home be more like a temple 🙂 🙂

    1. I think it is a great voluntary thing to do – but in the country where I live (USA) it is not part of the accepted culture, and so you have to request it of people who are not accustomed, or sometimes prepared to take off their shoes.

      I was at a choir practice where the homeowners told everyone to take off their shoes. One man left. I don’t know if he had holes in is socks, a foot odor issue, or his socks didn’t match – whatever the reason, I felt bad for him that he was put on the spot with an abnormal request.

      1. I agree with you on the shoe rule, MMM. Without going into detail, I have “foot issues” that can be embarrassing if I have to go shoeless unexpectedly. When I go to homes where I knew no shoes is a rule I plan accordingly, but sometimes I get caught unawares and it’s uncomfortable. I do appreciate my sister-in-law who, while she does have a no shoes rule, provides a large basket of socks and a bench near the door.

        And thank you for your thoughts on our homes and temples. That’s something I’ve pondered off and on.

  3. I have a Southern Farmhouse, wrap around porch kind of house in Utah. I gets lots of compliments on it- it’s cute, sure, but it’s so different in this area that it gets extra attention. Best compliments EVER was when someone came in and said, “Boy! You sure can feel the love in this house!” And ” You can really feel the Spirit in your home.” That doesn’t come from the furniture store!

  4. When I was 13 my mom and I were in search of a home to buy for our family. We’d been in two different rentals that had been sold while we were still living in them during the past year. My dad worked long hours and only specified he’d like a roof and utility hook ups. 😉 We looked and looked. Then someone told my mom about a HUD, bank owned, home they’d just noticed. We checked it out. I *HATED* it with every fiber of my being. It was ugly, run down, and just flat out hated everything about it. They bought it anyway. My mom and I were cleaning it one day getting it ready to move into and I found the most vile poster ever in a closet. I told my mom we were leaving. Oddly, she humored me. I refused to step foot in the house again. We had an FHE on home dedication and then my dad brought us all over to dedicate it. I was pretty adamant I wasn’t going in. Eventually I went in, and my dad offered a great dedicatory prayer on the new, ugly, house. After that I was able to continue helping my mom get it ready. I still hated the house, but at least could walk into it without my fight or flight instinct kicking up. Home dedication prayers are powerful forces of comfort.

  5. I have actually had people say that the place I lived was like a temple. It was in a student apartment. I cleaned it all the time because I’m OCD and I’m sure it drove everyone crazy. But one Sunday we were having a bunch of other people over and I had cleaned it until it was perfect and I had pretty Sunday music playing and maybe even some fun little white Christmas lights up at the time. People came in there and just said, “Wow….it feels like the temple in here!”

    I think something else that helped was not having a TV. Seriously!

    When I would go to other student apartments it always seemed like someone was watching something on TV. There was always that extra noise and worldly influence. I somehow managed to always live in apartments without TV and it really made a difference. I think more people were drawn to our apartment because it was peaceful and less noisy.

    So, I’m just trying to say that not having TV honestly helps me to have a more peaceful, temple-like home. We still have planned movie nights and let the little ones watch a short cartoon video now and then. But as a general rule the TV is off and I believe it really blesses our family. (And yes, there are other ways of getting the news!)

    I know just about nobody agrees with the whole “NO TV” thing and I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal and condemn the rest of the world here. Really, really really!! I may just be ultra-sensitive to stuff on TV, so I can’t handle it at all.

    But it is something more people might consider if they are really struggling with worldly influences in their home. Even just doing it for a month or two. Then when you go back you are more likely to recognize what shows and movies you should avoid or get rid of.

  6. Regarding your Stephen King reference: I had a similar thought of what I needed to stop bringing into my life when my 4 year old son was in the hospital. I had been hooked on a crime/murder/mystery series of books with much language and violence in them, and was in the middle of one of those books when he had surgery. That evening as I stayed with him in the hospital I read. When he started feeling very uncomfortable and crying with pain I wanted to pray for him, but got the distinct impression that there was no way I could continue reading my book with all the filth in and be worthy to ask Heavenly Father to bless my son. That was the last one of those books I ever read.

  7. Thank you SO much for this. I have been tasked with teaching the Empty Nesters FHE tomorrow. I wasn’t given a topic and I have been searching for my topic for 4 weeks now. I have started several lessons only to realize that they weren’t ‘the one’. As I read this, I could hear the lesson formulate in my head. Great work!!

  8. That is a great post. Thank you.

    I grew up in an inactive family for the most part. We weren’t complete strangers to church, but weren’t super frequent visitors, and never do I have a memory of us being there as a “whole” family (maybe the day I was confirmed?). By the time I was a teenager I began to be active though and I could really feel a difference when I was at church and when I was at home. My home wasn’t an evil place, but sometimes there were things that I could feel a great contrast to the Spirit I felt at church. My room and my radio soon became my “temple”, I guess you could say, after reading this post. There was a station that played music and hymns by LDS artists and some broader audience Christian Music, and sometimes talks- throughout the week, and I’d listen to that over regular music stations. If there was something on I didn’t like on TV I’d just go in my room and turn on my radio. I’d listen to Conference on the radio in my room, or driving around back farm/ empty roads.

    When I got married and had kids of my own, I realized so many movies I watched growing up had stuff in them I didn’t want my kids to see. I didn’t realize how much icky stuff was in some of them, or else my husband and I would be quoting movie lines and he’d say, “We should watch that with the kids” and I’d say, “Well.. there are a few parts…” and he had forgotten too, so they haven’t seen a lot of movies that get quoted. Overall, I think their lives will still be complete without them, or maybe some I’d let them see now they are older, but I really want to be careful with what we bring into our home. I have slacked a bit even as my kids are getting older, and still trying to find the balance of what to watch or not, but I do have some strong opinions about what IS watched IN our home for sure. And what my kids go watch somewhere else, because I remember the contrast of the Spirit growing up (and a few scary things like the couple in your story had happen). We’ve talked about that a lot with our kids. If we do watch something with parts in it we don’t like, we make use of the skip button or fast forward! 🙂 I am sure we could even do better some days just not to watch anything. And even though our house is so not peaceful in many ways, I THINK that it’s a place we all feel safe, and have been known to have some spiritual moments together. I feel, for me, it is very like unto the temple at times. I really want it to be a place where one can feel the Spirit if they need.
    Thanks again for this post!

  9. What do I need to do on my computer to be able to print a copy of your blog, whenever it contains a message I’d like to share?

    1. I’m glad that you find some of my posts worth sharing! You could just print them as is, or if you have a print window command, it would save a lot of pages.

      If that doesn’t work, you could copy and paste them into a Word document – the links should stay live.

      Suggestions? Anyone?

    2. Ha. I just printed part of this… 😉 Just highlight article, right click, then print. I hope that helps! 🙂

  10. It IS a big day here in Mesa. Went to the first dedication this morning and I’m going to the 3:00 pm one. Beautiful building. Beautiful day for it.

  11. We were able to attend the first dedication session for Gilbert temple this morning – so excited for President Monson and President Eyring to be joined by one of our favorites, Elder Tad R Callister and to learn from their messages.

    President LeSueur (temple president) spoke this morning about how many people not of our faith who toured the temple had commented about how much such an amazing edifice must have cost the church to build. He shared the response of another member as the perfect reply – that the cost of such a temple in miniscule in comparison of what the cost of addiction, divorce, abuse, crime, pornography and other such burdens by our society at large.

    Your post made me stop and consider the extension of what we learned this morning – what is the burden that we and our families must bear if we allow influences into our home that drive away the Spirit? Is that $1 trip to Redbox, $7 a month subscription to Netflix, or $2.99 cover price of People magazine costing us more than we realize?

    Thank you once again for your sharing your sage observations and for recognizing the big day for us here in The Oven.

    1. I was there too, Lisa, and was thinking exactly of President LeSueur’s talk while reading this post. I loved his response because I haven’t been sure how to answer that question. This is a good reminder for all of us.

  12. I agree about the shoe thing!! I like the rest of the post too. It’s a nice reminder for me.

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