I have a confession to make: We have granite countertops in our kitchen.
I am so ashamed. But in my defense, they are 12 years-old, and the granite is a very common style. (Giallo Veneziano, if you are keeping track at home.)
Why the angst? I read yesterday that granite countertops are going out of style. And then I heard someone say it on HGTV.
How embarrassing.
The next big thing? Quartz. Who knew?
In my defense, I have never been very fashion-forward. I never really saw the point. For example, in my high school and college years, the polo shirt of choice was made by Izod.
How could you tell it was Izod, and not some cheap knock-off brand? The alligator emblem, or course.
Yes, to the young and preppy, that little alligator carried status, pride and power. It also carried a price tag of about double the price of the same shirt without the alligator.
I wan’t buying it. Both figuratively and literally. I never owned an Izod shirt, or a polo shirt with any kind of emblem on it. I though it was dumb that people would place a higher social and monetary value on a shirt, because of a little stitched alligator. So I refused to participate.
Little has changed. I don’t care to flaunt brand names on my clothes. Except maybe my “PINK” sweat pants. (Relax – that was a joke) I guess I am just too cheap to pay for the “name.”
I also take issue with trends in general. I mean, who starts them? Who exactly decides when men’s ties should go from skinny to wide and back again? Is there a meeting I’m missing? And who decided that beards are cool now? I’m pretty confident that none of the Brethren were involved in that decision.
Fashion has never been my thing. It has never really been of great interest to me, but that doesn’t mean I am not aware of the fashion and the trends – I don’t want to look stupid, but I am not an “early-adopter.” I have noticed that there are two kinds of fashion-forward people: First, free spirits who march to the beat of their own drum. Granted, lots of them are wacky, but I give them points for being unique, and fearless.
The other fashionable people are those who are very good at keeping abreast of new trends and styles and quickly adopting them – and if that’s what they enjoy, they are free to do what they want to do. A lot of people spend a lot of time and money trying their best to look like everyone else – to show their “individuality.”
As I think about it, the second group of fashionable people have a unique ability that not everyone possesses: They are able to quickly conform to what complete strangers have decided they should now look like. (Essentially the polar opposite of a free-thinker.)
I’m too hard-headed for that. For some reason, I don’t really care what people think about the lack of a logo on my shirt. I also don’t care what some guy on TV says my countertops should be made out of. These old ones work just fine, and I like them.
You lost me at the snide jab at no-shave November–or whatever it is called. My hubby has a beard because it is hot (as in extremely attractive to me). I know there are those who feel clean shaven is somehow more spiritually correct, but since there is no stated doctrine on the matter (that I’ve found, anyway–excepting missionaries, of course), I stand by my refusal to let him shave. The man wants kisses, the man has a beard. I’m pretty sure you understand why he maintains very neat, very well-kept facial hair. 🙂
Now, feel free to go back to the actual topic.
(Add to Missionaries – temple workers, General Authorities, etc.)
But what a poor guy! No beard no kisses? “My refusal to let him shave” What a terrible marriage philosophy!
Now back to the actual topic.
Scott, why stop at ties. We live in a dessert climate where the daytime temperatures can top 40 degrees C for days on end, and a drop to 35 is considered a cool change (Sorry, you’ll have to convert to F yourself – just believe me, it’s HOT). Why should our brethren have to suffer with tight collars, ties AND suit coats? Yes we have air-conditioning (evaporative), but even with the fans as well (in the chapel) it can still be warm for us ladies, and we have the privilege of wearing scoop (slightly) necklines and short sleeves. Why do the men seem to feel they are being ‘disrespectful’ if they at least remove their suit coats? I think ‘traditions’ and trends need to be looked at and the big W (why) really considered.
You had me at Pink sweatpants (makes note as to what to send to MMM for Christmas* *starts saving money now*
Just an FYI from an interior designer… They always say that granite counter tops are going out of style. That’s because there are newer, more expensive products they want to push. And yet, we continue to add them to the homes I work on. It’s a lovely upgrade and as long as you like it, then all is well.
It took years before I knew what people were referring to when they said, “Izod” during my formative years. In high school a friend tried to explain that the alligator was supposed to identify a higher quality product. But when I saw the price and my brain did a nearly unconscious cost-benefit analysis, I couldn’t imagine that the supposed higher quality was remotely worth the higher price tag. I could never bring myself to do the hipster thing or the status symbol thing. It’s just not who I am. I don’t even own any CTR jewelry/apparel.
You ask who decides whether men’s ties should be skinny or wide. I have a much more fundamental question. Who decides that wearing a tie defines appropriate apparel? I dutifully wear a tie to church and dress up occasions. But the utilitarian part of me wonders what useful purpose a tie serves. It’s a piece of colored cloth that wraps around my neck and cascades down my chest and over my middle aged belly. I understand the utility of shirts, pants, footwear, and headwear (when needed). But a tie? People say that it allows a man to display color in an otherwise monochrome business suit ensemble. Big deal. I’ll bet that one of those free spirit types could easily come up with a relatively dignified way to pull that off without having to wrap a colored noose around the neck.
Scott: I feel that way about socks. http://www.tie-a-tie.net/blog/the-evolution-of-the-necktie/
Not gonna lie…this is the first post of yours that i have not agreed with entirely. In fact, it has left me a little miffed. If i didn’t know better, i would think this was written by my own husband. I agree with you that it is not necessary to spend more and buy a “brand” to wear on your shirt, rear-end, shoe, etc. (Although i think Lands End white shirts last longer). However, when it comes to upgrading a few things in the house, I think it is not only good, but wise. Your home is probably your biggest investment, and keeping it updated is a smart thing to do. Now, the reason this has left me sour is because of the ongoing argument i have with the husband about our carpet. It is 22 years old. It is worn. It is embarrassing to me. He (who works outside the home and isn’t home to look at it all day) thinks its fine. Just fine. He is the same man who felt it necessary to repaint the tractor.
We have many people to come to our home for temple recommend interviews, etc. I want them to feel the Spirit when they come here, not just see the old, worn carpet, couch, drapes. I want it to resemble the temple. I guess it irritates me most because we can monetarily afford these things, but he just doesn’t agree with my feelings. His parents live in a house that has not been touched in 50+ years, and is literally falling down around them. I guess that’s what i have to look forward to.
Thanks for letting me vent. 🙂
Weird. I never said anything about letting our homes look crappy. I mean, we do have expensive granite countertops – my point was that there is no need to keep up with a trend and toss out perfectly GOOD countertops, just because some yahoo on TV said they were out of style. You were obviously reading form your own perspective – not what was written.
Rural in America – Call the carpet guy to come over. Like president Kimball said, “Do it!” If he objects, tell him that there are 3 choices. One of the 3 are going out of the house: Him, you, or the carpet. Even if you are saying with a bit of a jest, maybe he will get how important it is to you. If you have dropped hints as to how important it is to you, remember – guys DO NOT GET HINTS!
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this topic. We moved a year and a half ago. We have a high-ish income. I wanted our home to feel modest and welcoming. I like nice stuff; a lot of the time performance is noticeably better but I often feel guilty buying it because I worry a ton about self deception. Do I justify “needing” something? Obviously I don’t feel that guilty because I usually end up buying what I want. However, I never buy things that cannot be justified in some other way by offering me value of some sort. One of the things you mention is spending our time thinking about our belongings? Our last home we built and was bigger than what we needed. Our family is complete, and though we have young kids we did downsize. I don’t have instinctively great taste. When I tried scrapbooking (a hobby I admire in others, but I absolutely abhor participating in) my pages never looked as good as other people who have a natural talent for it. Good for them. For me to produce something equally attractive, I have to put a lot more effort into it. This is true of fashion, home decorating, etc for me. So, when I need to buy new clothes, or purchase furniture, or remodel a bathroom, if I don’t give it the attention I need to, I’m often unhappy with the outcome. Either it feels bland to me, or feels “off”. And then I spend a lot of time fretting and thinking about it and thinking about the coulda, woulda, shouldas. When we bought this house, we got a lot of things we wanted, the right size, a great neighborhood, mature trees, crape myrtles, good closets, a galley kitchen. But the master bath was poorly laid out. I knew it was going to cost a lot to change it. And that bathrooms are expensive. And I have spent time planning it. I do wonder if it’s time well spent. I justify spending time planning it because I want to be happy with the outcome given the money it will cost to change it. I justify needing to change the master because currently I have to slide into the shower sideways. Am I justifying too much? I’m not really asking you these questions. They’re just what is bouncing around during yet another fun evening of “why am I tired but wired at 1:37am.”
Why can the temple replace carpet that barely looks worn without batting an eye? And I fret and worry if I am spending our money wisely enough. I’m not criticizing the temple department. I don’t know how to think about my belongings less and still evaluate whether I am spending our money prudently.
I don’t know that answers, but I know God does. If you are up all night anyway, spend it with Him. He will tell you. He doesn’t want you to waste your time/money either. Ask. Learn. Trust. Move on… xoxo 🙂
I don’t know if you meant this to be a metaphor, but I took it that way, and its awesome!
humor me. why do non trend followers feel so strongly about not following trends? why is it something they’re proud of? do non trend followers feel superior (that’s the vibe i’m getting) to trend followers?
i’m on night two of a wicked case of insomnia. the insomnia keeps me up. tomorrow’s necessities stress me out. i’m feeling a little anxious and i suspect that’s coming through.
Trend following almost always involves a sort of focus on pride or vanity. If I pay more than I need to for something so that I can feel better about myself, or more worthy to be part of a group, then my focus is very materialistic. There is a lot of self-deception in that mentality.
Here’s an article that gets to the core of it: http://www.ldsliving.com/story/76928-thou-shalt-not-covet-my-hovercraft
I’m curious, when is it okay to follow trends? Is it ever okay? Is it ever okay to be advertised to? Or purchase something because it’s popular, even if it’s foolish? Is it okay to buy ourselves “wants”? What if those wants are trendy things? It seems like there’s a lot of self congratulation about not following trends and I admit I don’t quite get that. Was it stupid to get a “Rachel” haircut in 1995? What if something genuinely needs to be replaced? Can I replace it with a trendy thing then? What if it’s something small, like nail polish?There’s a few psychological reasons why people follow trends. Fitting in with your tribe is one of them. Is that silly? If a new woman convert joined the church didn’t have any skirts, would we encourage her to get some skirts? I do tend to buy the nicest stuff I can afford. l like trends. I don’t feel particularly creative but I can observe and appreciate someone else’s creativity. Sometimes brand names are worth it. Sometimes they’re not. What if a Land’s End polo (plain) and an Izod shirt were the same price and quality? Would it be okay to buy the izod shirt? Would it be okay if you got a benefit like being more accepted by peers? Is it worth it then? Is there some amazing value that I am missing by not following trends?
Am I thinking too much about this?
I think so.
I tend to like some trends that come and go. I’m thinking about decorating my house. I never liked that vinyl lettering stuff. Not my cup o tea. So I didn’t put it in my house. But I liked chevron for a while. So I have a chevron throw pillow. I knew I wouldn’t love chevron forever so I would have never spent the money reupholstering a sofa in it. My haircuts often follow trends. I sit in the chair and give my stylist the go ahead to do whatever he or she wants. Sometimes my hair is long, sometimes it’s short, sometimes I like the cut, sometimes not so much. But it’s hair and it grows and it’s no big deal. I also get a way better haircut than I would if I made the decisions a lot of the time. I have a cast iron Staub dutch oven that I store on my stove. It’s a beautiful piece of cookware. I leave it out because I love it. I’m reminded of delicious things I’ve made in it. It’s lovely. Is this viewed as displaying brand name things for recognition? It kind of is because I didn’t buy a Le Creuset because that was too mainstream; I wanted a Staub because it feels a little more snooty. Le Creuset certainly makes a fine product.
You never explicitly stated that you look down on folks who follow the trendier things in life but it certainly was the vibe I was getting and the comments followed in that same vein.
Yes, you are thinking too much about this.
Wow. I had no idea I was ahead of the trend. When we built our house ten years ago, everyone was insisting on granite. We looked at the cost and just about fainted. Quartz was offered as a cheaper alternative with zero maintanence and a warranty to boot. 😉 p.s. I’ve never followed trends either..
I got “A Field Guide to American Houses” for Christmas. As I have read through it I have been stunned. So many variations and trends. It’s remarkable. Trends change. Yes, granite has become a bit ubiquitous and it’s on its way out trend wise, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. Variety is the spice of life. Choice is a good thing. Frankly I don’t love quartz,yet I’m planning on putting it in our bathroom next year because it’s so darned hardy. Bring on the quartz.
You sound so much like my late husband. If it’s clean, and it covers the necessities, what’s wrong with it? And I agree. My kitchen floors and countertops I think are from the ’50’s. They look awful and old, but they work. maybe are that new.
Hey, granite is still more ‘with it’ than our neutral, speckled laminate. But (like my van) as long as it works,
I’m good with it and have no interest in paying for something more upscale. People proudly displaying brands reminds me of that Calvin and Hobbes strip: http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2012/08/30
(And Bill Watterson himself fought the merchandization of his characters.)
I totally think brands should pay me to wear them as advertising, not the other way around. But like semishortchic, I shop in thrift store anyway. That way if (when) the kids trash the clothes (of grow out of them in a couple of months!) or I get paint on them, it’s not such a big deal. And, I can just toss the “dry clean only” ones in the washer 😉
Individuality has taken hold of our young sister missionaries. I love the fact that they never seem to match. I would do it too if a 60 something could get away with it but at my age we do have standards of decorum to uphold. Don’t we?
Theoretically, yes.
I have granite counter tops, and I refuse to by into the mullet skirt trend. (Short in front, long in back, you will never look a them the same again. Mwahahahaha!) My parents use to inquire why we wanted something, and if we ever said it was because “everyone had one” they would immediately say no, no matter what it was. I never got a My-size Barbie, an American Girl Doll, Pokemon Cards, or those little games with the critter you had to feed and keep alive. My parents always detested trends, and now I know why. It’s just ridiculous. I grew up clothes shopping in all the finest thrift stores in Oswego County, and my son will grow up the same in the Gila Valley. 🙂
Reminds me of a saying: When you’re in your 20s you’re really worried about what others think of you. When you’re in your 40s you don’t care what others think of you. When you’re in your 60s you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place!
What do many people do when given a chance to show individuality? They dress JUST like everyone else! They complain if not given a choice, but when given a choice they turn their agency over to someone else. I am sure there is some deep religious metaphor in there somewhere, but just like MMM and concern over style – I don’t care enough to flesh it out.
When I read the title I was sure this was going to be a another, “Please don’t say that” post!
P.S. I think your countertops look nice.
Just ask any older person. After years of buying things for our home and ourselves, we now clearly understand it is all about keeping the economy rolling and convincing young people to buy stuff. They tend to fall for it. Us older people don’t want ANY more stuff! Hence, the commercials and marketing are geared towards the younger set. And yes, I’m older! I don’t fall for any more “trendy” stuff . . . unless it is a really good book.
Late 70s mustard colored linoleum counters FTW.
Nice!
Two high fives!
Thank you. Now I feel much better about not wanting or wearing a chevron skirt. Yuk.
Hilarious!
Other than the fact that a chevron skirt on me would require a wide load sign, I feel the same way as you do Velva.
In our family we have a joke that started when I heard a commercial for the latest movie on the TV my kids were watching. A minute later, my son ran into the kitchen and said, “MOM! We’ve gotta…” and I finished his sentence by saying, “got see this new movie.” He looked at me shocked. Continuing my impression of my son, I said, “…because the TV told me so!” Now whenever there’s something trendy or some commercial comes on that I can tell my kids are being influenced to buy something…we always laugh and say, “Mommy, I love that [fill in the blank]…the TV told me so!” Helps us laugh it off and keep our “needs” in perspective!