So, my hubby left and now it just five kids, myself, and foreign land. So I decided we need to find a church. Well I would love to say the first church I found was the Mormon church. Ummm… No. My mom said I need to find a good Black Baptist church. So I did and a little bit I thought I was happy. But, something always was missing. So on to church #2, it was another Baptist church and once again I thought this is the one! umm…no, I found I was less happier than the last one. So I decided I need to change and go to another church. I join to Contemporary Christian church this actually made me happy for a while, but then I got that feeling this is not for me. Then I went on to join FOUR another churches, each church had promise but it wouldn’t feel the hole and urge I had to be close to God. So unfortunately, I found something to fill the void. My drinking got worse and I gave up all hope that I feel God’s love again. Why would he love a drunk like me? My hubby arrived back from deployment safe but suffered from PTSD Again, I prayed for God to guide me where to go. But, I got no answer.
I started to hang out with a group of ladies at playgroup. The kept saying they were “LDS” and they were so happy and nice. I wanted that. I told my hubby there is group of ladies who I think do drugs cause they keep saying they are LSD cause they are so happy lol. I didn’t care just wanted to be apart they had this light and warmth and wanted to know what it was. One day my neighbor asked me “Do you want to come to church with me, I think you would like it.” Here we go again church #7, my kids were horrified. “Mom, not another church we are go and quit”. To honest I thought the same thing too. My life was at it’s worst, my drinking was out of control, my hubby and I was on the verge of divorce, and this point God’s love was just an after thought.
The missionaries walked in the house, before they could tell me their names I yelled, “I want to be Baptized!!” The look on their faces was priceless!! lol. One of the missionaries said “How about you watch this video, of Joesph Smith.” Oh my, the video still brings tears to my eyes. He went through everything I went through he just wanted to the truth!! Just like me. That sealed the deal. I said, ” Sign me up”. Then they dropped a bombshell. I have to quit drinking. WHAT!! I been drinking for so long and I felt it was bad but nothing I control. This really shook me to my core. My secret was out in the open do I keep drinking or chose happiness and God’s love I been yearning for.
I wish I can say I chose that day to say yes. Ummm…I chose drinking but now it wasn’t fun and I didn’t like it as much. I knew Heavenly Father was telling me it’s time. I prayed that night to stop drinking and if being Mormon was the way to go give me sign. Right then, I felt peace and the courage to dump my bottle of liquor in the sink. I started the class and knew this was the right choice me.
While I was taking classes preparing to get Baptized, my best friend got really sick and I had to go visit her. The missionaries wanted to postpone my baptism but I told them no I would take classes with online missionaries. So there I was in a Catholic hospital, studying my lessons, when half the room was Catholic and other was Presbyterian. The Presbyterian Minster comes up to me and says “WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU?” in his Alabama accent. I didn’t know what to say so I said “umm…I am pre-Mormon”. Technically I wasn’t Mormon but I knew was going to be. His look was priceless and he says “Well I think that’s crazy and you what makes the best Presbyterians, ex-Mormons.” the whole room laughs. Then they started a firestorm full of questions about Mormons. Thank heavens I was writing the online missionary was helping me answer questions. That moment I knew I wanted more than ever to get Baptized.