‘Tis true. December 5, 2010 was the date of my first blog post. Nobody knew. A few people stumbled across MMM, and it slowly began to grow. A few months later, I told my EC, and over the next couple of years I told the rest of my family.
A little more than a year ago, I stopped being anonymous and now people have a name to attach to the Middleaged Mormon Man. Things are still plugging along. Last month actually ended up being my most trafficked blog month ever. Who knew?
But, all good things must eventually come to an end, and five years is a long time to do something like this. So, I’m sure you will understand as I make this difficult announcement…
I’m not going anywhere. Gonna keep riding this horse until it bucks me off. (Got ya!)
In the meantime, I thought I would take a moment and tell you some of the things I have learned over these five years. Yes, there has been a degree of enlightenment from this endeavor. Since the theme of today is Five, I’ll give you five for now.
#1: There are a lot of good people out there.
When I started blogging, I didn’t really expect to find readers, and it never really occurred to me that I would make serious friends from playing on Social Media. Turns out that friends made on the internet can actually be real friends in real life! I have developed some fast friendships through blogging and through Facebook.
To me, one of the best parts about MMM is the community that has developed. We get to know each other through blog comments, and Facebook discussions, and especially through Sunday Night Check-in on my Facebook page. (8PM Sunday nights)
It is really fun to see pictures, or hear about friends getting together that know each other simply because of their interaction on MMM. I’ve met bunches of you in real life, and for the most part, you aren’t scary at all.
If you look closely at the MMM community, you will notice that there is a disproportional number of people from all over the world and in areas of the US that are not so heavily Mormon populated. I figure that when you aren’t surrounded by wall-to-wall LDS people, you crave those relationships more, and seek them out. I’m glad so many have found a safe, comfortable place to hang out.
One thing that our MMM community hasn’t really harnessed yet is the power to do good collectively. You guys are a charitable bunch, and it might be fun to explore ways that we can reach out and help people, and make the world a better place. (More later.)
#2: There are a lot of bad people out there.
Yes, you gotta take the bad with the good. And yes, I hear from them, too. Some people just don’t like me, or the things I write about. I have developed a pretty thick skin over the years, but I must confess that it still stings when someone tells me that “it is people like you that make me glad I left the church.” Or, “I’m so glad I don’t live in your ward.” Or “you clearly don’t understand the gospel.”
I just delete those comments and move on, but sometimes I dwell on them, and that is when my EC asks me if it is all worth it. Then I shake it off.
I have learned that there are trolls out there whose lives derive meaning by tearing down the church, the brethren, the doctrine, or anything else related to our faith. These are not just casual readers who happen to disagree – they are on a mission to spread doubt and to mock. (You know, like the people in the Great and Spacious Building.)
Oddly, I have noticed that those people are perpetually late to the party. If I write a post that garners a lot of positive attention, I can count on the fact that 24 to 48 hours later, the negative comments will begin streaming in. Sometimes the ex-Mormon and anti-Mormon internet boards will use something I said (or just use me) for fodder for their attacks against the church. It is like driving past a car accident. You don’t want to see what they said, but you can’t look away. The bright side is that sometimes they generate a lot of traffic to my blog, and it is always fun to see bigger numbers.
#3: I am a very small fish, in a very large and dangerous pond. (Dare I say great and spacious pond?)
There are a bunch of you that faithfully read my blog, but there are a lot more people who have no idea I even exist. There are also a lot of people who know I exist, but don’t care. And yes, there are many who have no idea what a blog even is. Simply put, I will not be taking over the world anytime soon, but I do hope to make a tiny impact on it before I’m pushing up daisies.
I have been at this long enough to see the coming and going of a lot of LDS-themed blogs, and/or blogs by LDS people. There is quite a variety:
• Some are great – they are fun and insightful, and are honestly trying to put “good” out there in the world and share their testimonies.
• Some are so boring that you want to gouge your eyes out with a spork after reading for a few minutes. Sometimes religion is not a very entertaining subject.
• And some are dangerous. I am deadly serious. They are spiritually toxic. Some are nothing more than digital wolves parading as sheep, with the intent to mislead and ruin the testimonies of the faithful. This is where it gets dicey.
Some of the most well-known LDS blogs are written by multiple contributors, and that can make it tricky. On Monday, you might find a wonderful post that uplifts, and is based on solid doctrine…but on Tuesday, you might find a post that is written by someone with an agenda that is not supportive of the brethren, or the doctrine. The problem is that often you can’t tell until you are knee-deep in the article that there is a personal agenda, or false doctrine being taught. It is sneaky, and the people running the blogs condone the dichotomy.
When I started out, you could count the number of blogs written by one LDS man, supportive of the brethren and the church on one hand. There are a lot more now. There are a lot more LDS voices out there sharing, and that is a good thing, except for when it isn’t.
Even those with the best intentions get it wrong sometimes. Just last week I saw three articles making the rounds, and being widely shared on Facebook, that had serious doctrinal errors, or were just plain dumb.
I couldn’t help by think of Paul’s teachings, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.” (2 Timothy 4:3)
We have a tendency to like and share things that make us feel better about our own condition, or our own world view – even if those things are not sound doctrinally. Sometimes we find justification or rationalization, and don’t really hold it up to the light of truth to make sure is stands up.
I’m sure that after 1000 posts, I have written some things that have made some of you cringe. That said, I want you to know that I do make every effort to back up any doctrinal points with scripture, or words of the living prophets. If you find me teaching something that could be interpreted as being non-sustaining of the brethren, or doctrinally unsound – call me out! Let me have it!
Which brings me to my next point…
#3: I’m not perfect. (Beyond the typos)
Actually, I knew this long before I started blogging, and I have a family to remind me on a regular basis. Sometimes I fire back at comments that I think are dumb, or wrong. Sometimes I am not patient with people and get too snarky. Sometimes I am even a bit mean. I know I have alienated some people by being too strong in my responses. MOST of the time I turn the other cheek, but every so often I slap back. I am working on that.
My blog “persona” tends to be a little cockier, and a bit more self-righteous than I am in real life, but I also try to share some of the things I struggle with, and the challenges I face as I move through this world. I am first to declare that I am flawed, and anyone who has read me for a while knows that I am often willing to talk about it.
My family is in a really good place right now, and for that I am grateful. I am quick to acknowledge how blessed we are as a family, but we are far from perfect. We have our challenges, and our pains. Some of the worst you won’t know about, because they are too personal, but rest assured, they are there.
I don’t want to be one of those bloggers who paints the picture that my life is constant sunshine, happiness and professional photos. It is a rough and tumble life. I share the challenges with you if I believe I have learned something of value to share. I won’t share them if I don’t think it beneficial. So, for the most part, the unresolved questions that I might have, and the challenges we face will not be for public consumption.
Oddly, the idea that “MMM has it all together” can have diametrically opposed impact on those who read me: Some think I don’t have credibility because I have never had really hard challenges, while others think that I have credibility because things are going so well for our family. The truth lies somewhere in the middle.
You know the whole “Thou shalt not judge” thing? Please judge me. Judge me wisely. For both our sakes.
#4: The World is Getting More Difficult.
Isaiah nailed our time perfectly when he wrote this: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!” (Isaiah 20:21)
If that doesn’t define today’s society, I don’t know what does. Everyone thinks they are right. Everything is upside down. The political, social and cultural mores are in such decline that I am stunned at how quickly it is happening. When reading the Book of Mormon I was always amazed at how few generations it took for the people to completely mess things up. Well, welcome to 2015…
Part of the problem is that everyone and anyone can now have a voice in the public domain – all you need is a device and an internet connection. The other part of the problem is that so many people give equal weight to all the differing opinions out there. The reality is that most people’s opinions simply do not matter. They are just noise. (And yes, I know that I am saying this as a blogger – I recognize irony when it slaps me across the face.)
The opinions that DO matter are the opinions of God’s representatives. I do know that following what they teach us can make it easier to navigate this world. As soon as we start kicking against them, life gets infinitely more complicated and “gray.”
The metaphor of the iron rod from Lehi’s dream is still valid. Holding onto the word of God through scripture and prophecy is surely still the way to get through the toxic cloud the world has generated.
#5: There is too much angst in the membership of the church, and not enough hope and laughter.
Yes, it is a tough world, and we all have challenges, but man, we need to lighten up a bit. It is OK to smile, and to laugh at ourselves and our church culture. (This is not be be misconstrued of making light of sacred things.)
I think sometimes we get bogged down by the weight of the world, our personal challenges, and the opposition, that sometimes we forget about the beauty of hope. Even President Hinckley keyed on this idea years ago.
“This is the time, this is the very hour, to repent of any evil in the past, to ask for forgiveness to stand a little taller and then to go forward with confidence and faith. And finally, in all of living have much of fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” (link)
Gotta love President Hinckley for intertwining the concepts of repentance with fun and laughter. We complain too much, we fear too much. We need to focus on faith and happiness, because that’s where our religion sets us apart from the morose world that we live in.
I have learned that part of the reason that blogging “works” for me is that I see the world, and the gospel, a little differently than a lot of people do. I am very black and white when it comes to doctrine and supporting the brethren. I don’t have time for gray. This mindset can be a little intimidating to wishy-washy folk and can sometimes be hard to swallow – which brings me to…
Hope. I also like hope. I like the concept, the optimism, and the way it makes me feel. I would rather be hopeful and wrong, than pessimistic and right. If I can share some hope, some smiles and some happiness, then I feel fulfilled. I also enjoy noticing and sharing the hilarity of people and the world.
As Mary Poppins sang, “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…”
I agree wholeheartedly.
So, there are five of the many things I have picked up the past five years of blogging. I appreciate your readership, I enjoy your friendship, participation and comments. I really appreciate your praise. I accept your critique begrudgingly.
I am happy.
The Church is true. God is in His heaven, and I know that he loves us. How do I know that?
He gave us a Savior, prophets, and ice cream. (In that order)
Note: This will stand in for my normal Sunday post. So no new post tomorrow. (Hey, I’m not a machine, you know.)
I love how you add humor to your posts 🙂
Congratulations on your blog’s 5-year anniversary! Five years is a long time, do something nice for yourself!
#5 Amen, Brother!!! Thanks for throwing that out there! Appreciate you & your blog!! Hope on….
The backing up of your comments with scripture and prophetic counsel is the reason I’m still around. I have in the past started reading multiple blogs only to find out they are not what they seem. Thanks!
Thank you for your posts! I have been reading them for a while now and I am grateful for the time you put into this.
Love the blog. Keep up the good work. Funny enough you actually gave us 6 things you learned. You had two #3’s, ironically the 2nd #3 being that you weren’t perfect. 🙂
Love your humor, love your blog and think you are a pretty good guy from what I’ve read. Thanks for entertaining us.
I too have been following your posts for only a few months. Hey I’m a OMW too and can barely turn a computer/tablet/smart phone on and off so it takes me awhile to “get with it” so to speak. But your post on the thousands resigning their church membership over Handbook verbiage came at the perfect time when I was fearful my “wayward” children would follow (they didn’t) and your posts since have brought insight and peace. Keep it up, I appreciate it!
I stumbled up your blog about a year ago and I love it. Thank you for letting me be a small part of your world but more importantly for standing up for the prophet, church, and righteousness. (And even doing it all with a touch of humor!)
You should pre-write a blog post every week for Saturday. It is good prep for Sunday for all of us that read your blog.
I love your blog and am grateful that you have thick skin which allows you to keep posting despite negative comments. I wish you and your family did live in my ward!
I am so appreciative of what you do. When I spent 2013 in a chemical fog of fighting cancer and recovering from various unpleasant procedures you were an important link to the gospel. You speak my language, and I needed that.
Drive On !! Having said that, 2 cents follow. As re. “rather be hopeful and wrong, than pessimistic and right.” Pessimism: the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems, etc. Optimism: a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
If we search ( faith hope ) in our scripture app, we see how often they appear together, notably with faith in the lead, which implies a causal relationship; hope being the fruit of faith, in a manner of speaking. Our hope can only be as strong as our faith, which by doctrinal definition is substantiated by our works. Also critically significant how often faith&hope are bound up with charity (“the greatest of these”) without which we “are nothing”.
Pessimism is an approximation of despair, which cometh because of iniquity (ours or other’s), in striking contrast to hope, which comes of faithful works. Optimism (wishful thinking?) is only an approximation of hope because it may not be based (as gospel hope is) on a firm foundation of faith.
Five years! I think I’ve been following for at least 3 years and during that time I’ve learned so much from you. John and I think you should definitely publish a compilation of a bunch of your posts. You’ve helped me as a blogger to push forward even when it gets tough and I’ve needed those pep talks! Thanks for sharing your gospel thoughts and wit with us. The one on if snow monkeys were Mormon type-post had my husband and I laughing so hard (and I know there were a lot of other very funny posts but for some reason that one killed us).
Keep on at your blogging! You’re needed!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, insights, and opinions. There have been times they have lifted my spirits, given me hope, given me things to ponder and have helped me to be stronger. Your blog matters.
Thank you for your blog! I am grateful to read someone who I know stands with the Brethern. You share the gospel so plainly and it has been a blessing in my life.
I’ve read your blog for most of it’s lifetime and I love it. I love the way you love the Brethren and the doctrine of the Church and always support it.The Doctrine is the only thing we can always rely on. I’m sure your blog is also helpful for people who need to rant and rail – it’s a service for some of them. (They still have time to repent and get their thinking worked out. The doctrine will not change
Your writings should be published. I mean that!!
I agree with Kay.” I would rather be hopeful and wrong, than pessimistic and right.” I’m a new fan and I enjoy every word. Thank you!
Thank you!
You are one of my heroes. Thank you for being such a great example of the believer!
I have just found your blog. I appreciate this post. I am a aright arrow too, not perfect by any means, but I follow the Prophet and the apostles to a T. No gray for me. I am always on the alert for those who cross the line, criticize and think they can rally the troops to get the brethren to conform to their ideas and make changes that will please them. The nerve! I believe that I belong to the one and only true church of God and I will follow the Prophet thank you very much. Keep blogging! We need more solid and strong voices that speak of hope and holiness. God bless!
Dang! You got me! I had a moment of displeasure; good thing I’m a fast reader so it was only a brief moment. I’m so grateful for your self-imposed missionary work and friend-gathering you do here, and hope you ride this horse for a long, long while. “I would rather be hopeful and wrong, than pessimistic and right.” Amen to that, brother, Amen!
I love the idea of compiling a “Best of MMM!” Would you seriously consider it?? I’ll bet Deseret Book would be interested. Let’s call Sheri Dew!!
We love you MMM!!! Keep up the good work. We appreciate the time and effort you expend on our behalf and are SO glad you’re not thinking of ending this wonderful blog. 🙂
…wish you would publish the best of your past five years worth of blogs and I could give copies as gifts for next Christmas…or ?
Well, here goes Number 1: I like you. Always have.
Number 2: You drive an excellent blog. So don’t let the &$#@!’s get you down.
Number 3: I had a blog for 6 years, but I could never get an audience.
It’s not any fun if you don’t have comments and followings. I finally just shut it down. It was like talking to the walls. So I’m impressed that “the world” found you so fast. I never knew how to do that.
Thank you for not posting your doubts and faults. I don’t understand why the world thinks we need to lay out our dirty laundry for all to see before it’s washed in an effort to be “real” or “truthful”. How does that help anyone?
Your blog has given me more hope in human kind and provides insight and food for thought. I’ve been following you for about a year and I don’t usually leave comments. You referred to that black and white view you have, I for one appreciate it. My heart dropped when you seemed to be saying that your 5 year term was long enough. I’m so glad you have time and interest to continue. You touch so many without having to publish a book; it wonderful!!! Thank you.
AuntSue
Thank you for just being you, and blogging to share that with the rest of us. Bless your EC and the FOML, for they share you with us. This is a great blog and today’s posting is so perfectly right on. I am so glad that the Book of Mormon shows us how a society can degenerate as more and more people live in the spacious building. But with our Lord and the Holy Ghost will can make it. And you make it fun, touching and insightful. Thanks MMM.
Thanks for continuing the good fight. You always lift me up and appreciate your insight!
Thank you for being a voice of reason in a loud and difficult world.
I just want to echo what many have already said, we appreciate your thoughts, time and blog. I love how you write about timely events and counsel given to us. I freely share information about you and your blog to everyone whether in or out of the church. Thank you for putting into words many thoughts and ideas we all have. We each have different challenges and we do not need you to share yours with us. Just a heartfelt thank you from a distant friend. 🙂
I just recently discovered your website and really enjoy your insight. As an OMW (old Mormon woman) I second the thoughts is Mike Munnerlyn. Keep on, brother.
I’m a relatively new follower of your blog. It’s such a breath of fresh air to me to find another like-minded, straight-arrow Mormon, willing to say it like it is, and remaining ever supportive of Church leaders & doctrine, policies, etc… Thanks for sharing your time and talents to spread a little Joy.
I am so glad your blog exists. When I’m constantly hearing the voices of those spiritual wolves in sheep’s clothing, it’s nice to read an opinion by someone with whom I can agree completely–even on the Santa/Baby Jesus thing!
Especially on that thing!
I love your blog. So share with me whose blogs you follow?
I got really sad when you alluded that you weren’t going to blog any more. I’m so glad you are still in it. Thank you for your blog!
thanks for letting me be a small part of your world. I’ve met some wonderful people through your blog and hope to get to meet them in person someday. You’re so right about those of us that live outside the LDS bubble of Utah. Your blog, and especially Sunday Night Check-In have given me some of the most spiritual experiences. You are doing a good thing here, and I can hardly wait to see what’s next.
Amen. I have a lot of gray in my life, but none of it involves the gospel, which may be why I enjoy your blog so much.
I look forward to your posts and to the lively conversations that follow. Thanks for leading out
Lots of things you said here could stand as quotes on their own. I really enjoyed reading this post and I have loved your blog for a long time. Thanks for doing it.
Great post! And If I want to, then I can come read it again tomorrow if I need something to read tomorrow
Even better – you probably won’t remember it by tomorrow, so it will feel brand new again.
LOVE, your sense of humor, MMM!
I appreciate your dedication to your blog. I enjoy reading your insights and love your humor. I also have seen how you handle criticism…..my favorite being, once someone said something like, it must be nice to be you and have no trials blah, blah, blah to which you simply replied “you presume much” it was my favorite response. It helped me be more careful in my assumptions and helped me see that you don’t need to share with anyone more than you want to. I have used that phrase to neutralize situations by saying that. Thanks for 5 years, I really do appreciate it.
Thank you. So, so much. For this post and for the past 5 years. Your words often come at just the right time. Thank you.
Thank you for your post today. You have answered a prayer for me in that I wanted to prepare better today for the Sabbath tomorrow. So much food for thought and I appreciate every bite of it.
Hey – you are one of those real life friends I wrote about!