Every now and again, I find myself browsing the aisles of the Dollar Store. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes just for fun. The other night, my EC needed to get some wrapping paper and bows, and I came along for the ride. Here are a few things I found which merit discussion, and one thing that DRIVES ME CRAZY. (In a bad way.)
These party horns have ooga-bulbs stuck on them so people don’t actually have to blow into them. I guess people with emphysema deserve to party just as hard as everyone else. Or, some people are too busy blowing their own horn to be bothered with blowing their own horn.
I so desperately wanted to shoplift this. (If you don’t get it, wait a day and email me.)
These little battery-powered fans were actually pretty cool – take it from someone who lives next to Hades in the summertime. My idea? Make them in white, and sell them to some women I know to take with them into the temple. I know – Genius.
Speaking of genius, some things are just not meant to be attempted, but these “geniuses” persist in creating abominations that should not exist. For example, I give you these:
You mess with Lemonheads, you violate my childhood. Reinforcing the maxim: Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
I had no idea that a knock-off perfume could improve posture. My recommendation? Use “Cautious” before buying.
Now the guys had some fragrances too:
“Jordache Men” seems innocuous enough, but when you read the fine print, you realize that it says that it is “Our Version of QUORUM.” That’s right folks. They are impersonating Quorum, making them the first apostate fragrance I am aware of.
And finally, as we were walking out the door, I saw something that makes me crazy. A donation box. No, I am not anti-charity. I am anti “sneaky” charity.
Allow me to explain:
See that box of granola bars on top? I’m guessing it cost a dollar. Some good soul donated it to help with the food drive. Now let’s walk this through, and do some math.
The box of granola bars probably cost the Dollar Store about 75¢. So when that Good Samaritan bought it, the Dollar Store instantly turned a 25% profit. That’s not so bad, and in most cases, it ends there.
But sometimes it gets better…
Next, SOME stores will donate the granola bar to some deserving food bank, and write-off $1.00 as THEIR charitable contribution, and get the corresponding tax break. For the sake of making it easy, let’s say they saved 25¢ in taxes.
What do we have? The store makes 25% on the sale, and saved 25% of their taxes, all because some good person spent $1.00 on the granola bars. They sell more stuff, and get a write-off. What is their skin in the game? Nothing.
So, if you want to donate money to help people, donate money to help people – take your own write-off. Don’t let some stores sucker you into funding their tax write-offs. I would suggest Fast Offerings as a good place to put your donations.
See – I can’t even go to the Dollar Store without turning it into some kind of preach. Can you imagine being one of my kids?