I don’t know if you know this or not, but every time you search for something on the internet, some giant computer system keeps track. From there, the data is hacked by nefarious villains who will use it to embarrass you, should you ever run for public office, or sell it to other companies for marketing. This includes the spooky marketing that makes ads for laser printers appear on random websites you visit, because last week you searched for laser printers. (That is my reality.)
Not only do the nefarious data people get the search info, guys like me, with harmless little blogs get some data, too. One of the data points my analytics provides is the ability to see the search terms people used that landed them on my blog. Those terms go from expected to weird. I culled this list from the last year’s worth of data.
As you would expect, 9 out of the top 10 searches were some variation of “middle-aged mormon man.”
middleaged mormon man
middleage mormon man
middle-aged mormon man
middleaged mormon man blog etc.
From there, it get more varied, but predictable based on what I have written about:
cain and abel (#7) link
I never said it would be easy (#12, with a bit of pride.) link
the wolf of doubt (#15) link
stay in the boat (#18) link
Then you get into the stuff that makes less sense. I wonder what these searchers were looking for when they wound up here on this blog:
MMM tattoo (#20)
is mmm a satanic activity (I sure hope not!)
is mmm a form of gambling
is middle-aged mormon man single. (Sorry ladies, I’m spoken for.)
curmudgeon
old curmudgeon (Yeah, yeah. Don’t have to tell me twice.)
rabbit big carrot rabbit small carrot (No idea.)
is chris bair a mormon (Yes, Chris. They are watching. Always watching.)
Then you spot some trends…
essential oils for throat tickle
what oil takes away a tickle in the throat
tickle throat and essential oils (As far as I remember, dealing with throat tickles has never been a focus of my blog. But I will confess to mentioning essential oils for comedic relief.)
and if you are not an oils fan…
hot toddy for a tickle in the throat
get out of the shower (Yes! link)
ralph macchio/mormon (For the record, he’s not, but it would be awesome.)
living in porter tx (Absolutely no idea.)
cupcake frosting looks like dog poop (Guilty as charged. Link here.)
You get the idea. So, as you are Googling your little hearts out, remember that someone is watching. Always watching.
My husband searched something about insurance not long ago and the locals started CALLING to tell us they wanted to answer our questions. That was really spooky.Even though we just let the answering machine sift for scammers. I’d rather just have the pop-up ads on the side ( we got car ads for a year after we bought a car lol Maybe I should have searched for something about OWNING a car?)
XD
Totally agree, even more so on social websites. Both sides of the law are watching. Whew! Good thing you never mentioned Poe. Kee. Or Mahn!
You blogged about a tickle in your throat that turned into full blown flu once. I’d take me a while to find it though.
I am pretty sure that is how it is in Heaven..Someone is always watching, watching..
Huh, odd the question has even come up. I thought it was kinda obvious. The true question is: “is the Art of Manliness guy mormon?” best I can tell: yes though he isn’t overt.
Yes he is.
Scary, but true!
Sometimes it’s good to search incognito.