We had a shared experience today in sacrament meeting that I’m sure most of you can relate to. One of our priests, a fine, competent young man, struggled to get the words to the sacrament prayer right. Brain cramp. For those who don’t know, we are instructed to say the sacrament prayers word-perfect, with no additions. I like that. I reminds us of how important the ordinance is when you have to get the words exactly right – like the ordinance of baptism.
Today the young priesthood holder had to repeat the prayer not one, not two, not three, but five times. I know that he was dying inside, as I have been there, done that. I also know that the bishop was gravely concerned – not about the discomfort of the members, but for the anxiety his priest was experiencing. Having sat in that chair, and having had to shake my head and call for a repeat, I know how much bishops hate having to do that. (I made one of the most valiant young men I know repeat the prayer seven times until he got it right. It was agonizing for all of us.)
I’m sure many in the congregation felt uncomfortable. Back when I was bishop I would have been uncomfortable, too, but not anymore. Now I don’t mind. Since then I read something that gave me different perspective on the exactness of the sacrament prayers. Specifically, Brad Wilcox referred to this situation in his book The Continuous Atonement.
“The sacrament prayers must be offered word for word. The bishop has the responsibility to verify that they are spoken flawlessly. So what happened when this boy didn’t get it right? Was he replaced, ridiculed, or rejected? No. That’s not the Savior’s way. But did the bishop just overlook the problem? No. He couldn’t. The Lord requires the prayers to be perfect.
If the law of justice were the only law in force, then one slip-up, one wrong word by even the best-intentioned priesthood holder would have disqualified us all. Fortunately, the law of mercy was also in force. Although the sacramental prayers had to be perfect, and that expectation could not be lowered, the priest was given a second chance, and a third– As many times as it took…. No matter how many mistakes were made and corrected along the way, the final outcome was counted as perfect and acceptable.
God, like the bishop, cannot lower the standard that we ultimately become perfect, but He can give us as many opportunities to start again. Like the young priest, we are all given the time we need to correct our mistakes. Perfection is our long-term goal, but for now our goal is progress in that direction.”
With that concept in mind, let me share some additional details of our sacrament meeting. After the second prayer attempt, the priest next to the pray-er tried to point out the error, but it happened again. Then I saw something wonderful: The bishop stood up and walked over and knelt behind the young priest as he said the prayer. When he made the same mistake, the bishop gave him a gentle nudge, and the priest corrected himself. He came to the second word that had been tripping him up, and the bishop helped him again. When the priest finished, we said “amen,” and the bread was passed. The meeting proceeded normally.
A couple of points:
• It is embarrassing when you mess up. It shouldn’t be, but it is.
• It is also unfortunate that people get judgmental when a simple mistake is made.
• It is unfortunate when people decry the perfection required and argue that the priesthood holders should not be held to such exact standards.
While some in the congregation probably felt uncomfortable, or anxious, here is what I saw:
• I saw a young man performing a priesthood ordinance with respect and authority. He goofed up, but he tried again, and again. He didn’t throw his hands up and let someone else do it. He persevered.
• I saw a shepherd come to the aid of one of his sheep who was struggling in a very public forum. He gently helped him succeed, then slipped back to his role as Judge in Israel and accepted the young man’s effort.
• I saw an entire congregation suddenly take notice of the words of the sacrament prayer that can so often be taken for granted.
• I saw the entire congregation participate in the ordinance of the sacrament by receiving the bread, which represents the body of our Savior, that was blessed by this very priest.
What a wonderful, symbolic manifestation of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are allowed to mess up, repeatedly, but if we are persistent, the Good Shepherd is there to help us get it right. In a most fortunate irony, He will also ultimately be our Judge. Along the way, even as we work through our imperfection, we can still bring others to Christ and help them along their journey.
So, next time you are in sacrament meeting, and a priest botches the sacrament prayer, don’t get antsy. Instead try to recognize that you are watching the miracle of the Atonement being played out for you in real time – and count it a blessing.
(Note: If you teach the Aaronic Priesthood, please share these ideas with them.)
Beautiful analogy, and B. Wilcox is one of my favorite people alive. Swell post.
This happened in our ward once. I told the young man that I was thankful to hear the prayer several times so that I could ponder it better. Mistakes can teach us.
Wow. AWESOME insight relating such a painfully common experience. I agree that it shouldn’t be embarrassing. Whenever I do or say something embarrassing, I remind myself how I would react or view someone if they made the same mistake I did. When you screw up in front of someone, they are often just as embarrassed as you! They don’t see you differently, but you can handle the situation with grace and confidence instead of beating yourself up for something so insignificant.
I also liked this point you brought up: “I saw an entire congregation suddenly take notice of the words of the sacrament prayer that can so often be taken for granted.” Who knows, maybe the priest needed to say the sacrament prayer seven times for a congregation, or even a specific person, to have a spiritual moment where they grew their comprehension of the words.
I LOVED this blog post. Thanks for sharing your insights!
When I was a temple ordinance worker, we were taught by the temple presidency, that if one makes a mistake, we should correct him and let him repeat. If it’s wrong again, they said “take it as the best, he is able to do and accept it.”
In this I felt a spirit of love and forgiveness and held it the same way with the sacrament prayers, when I was a bishop. As a judge I felt comfortable with this way to respond to mistakes, because I don’t want the ordinance to be an language training or a reading exercise.
I will be sharing this gem, thank you.
This is an area which must be handled with much sensitivity. I, too, had a similar experience. After several attempts, the Bishop finally went over to the table. Unfortunately that young man was humiliated, not humbled, and he has never returned to church. That was several years ago. I truly believe that the Lord would rather have one word wrong than to lose a precious young man to inactivity. I talked with a temple president about a similar thing. We were discussing how, in the temple, the ordinances are to be perfect. I asked about a patron making a mistake over and over. His response was that we always consider the patron and ensure that his/her temple experience will want him/her to return again and again.
That is a good point. I believe after the first or second time a priest messes up the sacrament prayer, he should be able to read the scripture. Is this a good idea? What are your thoughts, MMM?
It IS sad that we lose many church members from these kinds of situations (embarrassment, judgment, discomfort, etc.). But, without sounding insensitive, we must keep in mind that it is still their responsibility to push through these challenges with the help of their Savior. I find this story really illustrates what I am talking about: http://www.ldsliving.com/After-Being-Asked-to-Leave-Sacrament-Meeting-LDS-Dad-Teaches-His-Children-an-Unforgettable-Lesson/s/83177?utm_source=ldsliving&utm_medium=email
This gives church members ZERO excuse to be judgmental or critical. But, no matter what we face at church, good or bad, each member has their own agency to choose to return or not no matter what.
A very long time ago, when I was advanced to the office of Priest, we were encouraged to memorize the prayer, with the card being kept handy just in case. In addition, we were doubly encouraged (commanded?) to read it over and over in our spare time to become very familiar with, and accustomed to, reading it properly. We were taught to slow down, see and speak each word as a prayer, and not a reading or recitation. The young men, as a rule, seem to feel the need to rush it, to step away from “praying speed,” probably, but most likely, from the anxiety of “performing” in front of a large audience knowing it has to be done accurately (not perfectly, because I’ve heard stutterers get through it accurately). My heart aches when a young man struggles, but as you’ve stated, much can be learned from their struggles.
Our son had to repeat the prayer many times each Sunday. Our ward members were so kind to him. When he was set apart to serve his mission in England, our Stake President blessed him that his tongue would be loosed and he would be able to teach and preach the gospel. He had that blessing his whole mission but within three months of returning home it was gone. Now he is the young men’s president in his Ward. They love him!
Mine is autistic and for many weeks after he turned 16 I gripped my husbands arm tightly as we listened to him try again and again until he got it right. The response of the ward? They patted his back and praised him. I will forever love those people. With his love of repetition, he eventually got it, and was okay.
Yes. Thank you for taking me deeper than my own reflections have led me.
Thank you for sharing these insights. It gave me a new perspective to think about if/when this happens next time. I love the Atonement in action.
This happened at the Southern Pines Ward today also. You are right, it should have been no big deal. We got to her the prayer a few times and reflect. Let us never take the Sacrament for granted.
Thank you, a beautiful insight.
Just lovely! Having reared sons, I have had the experience of hearing them make mistakes in the prayer and have to re-do it. The first time it happened, I was kind of embarrassed for him and to be honest, for me too. When I finally learned this lesson (from your post), I never had those feelings again and I hope I was able to teach my boys the same lesson as well.
I once read a story in the Ensign Magazine by a sister who experienced this same circumstance. She explained how she told the young Priest after the meeting that she was grateful he had to repeat the prayer. It helped her focus more intently on the words and feel the Spirit more poignantly because of the experience. She also tried to console him to not be embarrassed because she saw it as a blessing and opportunity to be strengthened by the Spirit. I’ve always remembered that story when the prayer is required to be repeated and your example today adds further light and ponderings to the circumstance. Thank you for your added insight!
I am sure that is the same story I remember and I feel the same way!
I love, love, love this. I hope to remember this when my boys are Aaronic Priesthood holders. Thank you so much!
Wow!! Read this one out loud to my wife and I couldn’t get through to the end before choking up. What a profound analogy.
Now I know what happened years ago in Springville.
A young man tried, over and over and over again, to get the words of the sacrament prayer correct. At the first couple of repeatd, people were getting irritated. After a few more attempts, people were silently and not so silently (whidpering) starting to pray for the young man. At the next attempt, we were hearing audible sobs. When he finally got it letter perfect and the sacrament came around, we saw every face in the ward meeting was tear-smeared. Testimonies were given throughout the day in class meetings and after church. We didn’t quite know why we were so affected.
Now we know.
Beautiful. Thank you.
I have had the same experience where you feel for the priesthood holder when he makes the mistake more than once. I don’t think as many judge as the ones that pray silently he will get it right. It is such a sacred
responsibility and I respect every effort to be of service to the Lord and to all of us. Thank you for this.
I’ll never hear a sacrament ‘boo-boo’ the same again!