Brace yourselves: So, it turns out that Santa DID NOT ACTUALLY VISIT the person who wrote the masterwork “Santa Says, ‘Teach the Children.'” It never happened – it is fiction. I know, I know – tough to accept. Even though it was taught over the pulpit in Sacrament meeting yesterday, it was NOT a real visitation, nor a vision.
With the aid of the inter-web, I was able to find that the peice was written by “Unknown Author”.
Thank you, Snopes! Here is the link to the actual piece: http://www.motivateus.com/stories/santa-s.htm
Apparently, Mr. Author claims to have had a visit from Santa – an entire week before Christmas – riiiiight. Instead of just following his normal Santa-pattern of speaking not a word, but going straight to his work, a tearful Santa confronted his observer with a manipulative sermon about how Unknown had an “all-caps” obligation to TEACH THE CHILDREN! He then went on to justify his existence by making up the most absurd religious symbolism for most every Christmas decoration. Holly leaves, wreaths, candles, even Santa Himself apparently represent the birth of the Savior in one strained way or another. Personally, I am relieved to know that when I eat a candycane, there is no transubstantiation involved.
I do need to be clear about one thing: This in no way diminishes my personal belief that fruitcake represents the Gathering of Israel.