Even less riveting television would be a happily-married Mormon couple. How do I know this? Experience. My EC and I wouldn’t make for very interesting television. We know each other so well we can finish each others sentences, and know what the other wants or needs without asking. We hardly ever fight. We are very efficient when we need to get things done. We would be boring.
Apparently, CBS realized this after they attempted an Amazing Race with a Mormon couple. I found this “top-secret” transcript of one of the legs of the race online. Hyrum and Tami were their names, but they never made it on TV.
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Phil’s Voice: After the last leg of the Race, the racers find themselves in a small village in the Guangxi Province of China.
Tami opens clue: Roadblock
Phil’s Voice: A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform.
Tami reads: Visit the village school and learn the Chinese National Anthem from the students.
Hyrum: I got this. See you in a little bit. (Gives Tami kiss on the cheek, and jogs down the road.)
Tami: This should be easy for him. I think I’ll go find something to do.
Later, Tami and Hyrum are reunited at the clue box. Hyrum opens clue.
Phil’s voice: Proceed to the next pit stop at the Lijiang River Dock. Warning, the last team to arrive may be eliminated.
Tami and Hyrum begin walking to the pit stop.
Tami: What took so long?
Hyrum: Well, you know I speak Cantonese from my mission, so the song was easy. Since nobody else had shown up yet, I taught the kids our National Anthem too. It was fun.
Tami: I’m glad it was fun, but it still seemed like a long time for two songs.
Hyrum: Well, I noticed that there was a leak in the roof, so I got a couple of guys to help me find some corrugated metal and we fixed it.
Tami: Oh, that was sweet of you. (kiss)
Hyrum: Thanks. What did you do while I was gone?
Tami: Well, down the road I found an orphanage, so I went in to see what I could do.
Hyrum: How did you do that? You don’t speak Cantonese.
Tami: Well, turns out it was run by French nuns, and I speak French from my BYU Study Abroad semester. They were really sweet.
Hyrum: What did you do?
Tami: I taught the little girls how to make scrunchies for their hair out of scrap cloth. I figured if they could sell some and help fund the orphanage.
Hyrum: That’s awesome! But how are they going to sell them?
Tami: Well, the sisters had internet access, so I created a blog so that people can make donations and order scrunchies, then I Facebooked it to all my friends. We had a dozen orders before I left.
Hyrum: It has been a good day.
Tami: It sure has. I love you.
Hyrum and Tami arrive at the mat and look around, but Phil hasn’t arrived yet.
Hyrum: Looks like we beat Phil here again. Third time.
Tami: While we’re waiting. let’s go see if we can find someplace that sells Diet Coke. I’m dying.
——
See? It would never work on network TV.
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I love The Amazing Race!! Wow, I loved your blog before, but now I feel like we’re friends. Uchenna and Joyce are my all time favorite Amazing Race couple. This was a great post, thanks!
Love amazing race!
I know you wrote this forever-forever ago, but I had to comment because:
1. I ADORE The Amazing Race (this season is the first one I’ve missed in years)
2. I remember all those couples you are talking about!
3. It’s so true!
4. This was hilarious.
LOL! That is a very funny post! And you are right on!
Spot on ! Why have normal people when they don’t boost ratings ! Having said that most wards have a couple who take being a “peculiar” people to another level 🙂
RJRdaydreamer
Lol! You are so right about no normal couples on shows like that. My husband and I always used to talk about trying to get on Fear Factor but I probably don’t dress skankily enough to be on that show.
This may be all true and though I love the show and I LOVE my EC, if we were on it, there would be way too much drama. In fact, I’m pretty sure our marriage wouldn’t survive. I would really want to win and there’s no way I’d let him screw that up:)!!! I guess it’s safe to say I won’t be sending over my application to be a contestant.
Hahaaaa! So true. The general pop would much rather watch Jersey girls urinate in public than witness a happily married couple play kissy face. Our society has a slight problem, I think.
I really like this show and your take had me in stitches. Hyrum? Thankfully I have never yet had a Hyrum in my class.
I never thought of the whole married couple thing on the show before. I read this to my wife and she is in agreement with you. People like to watch the jerk guy yell at his wife/girlfriend and be thankful they are not married to him.
Best.Show.Ever. Like you, I’m a five continents man (apologies to the penguins as well as Africa). My wife and I agree that we’d not make for the most entertaining couple either.