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First Swallow Camel, Then Strain at Gnats


So, it looks like NYC is going to join San Francisco and ban toys in Happy Meals. Specifically, if the Happy Meal does not meet nutritional muster, no toy for you!

And this is the city councilman pushing for the ban. I do not jest.
Nope. I’m not saying anything. You can’t make me. It isn’t for me to judge. smirk
OK.  Two words:  Burgermeister Meisterburger.
Before they worry about Happy Meal toys, here is a list of other little things I would rather see banned first:

• Charles Schwab “painted” commercials
• 4X4s that go over speed bumps at 2 mph
• Tofu
• Deconstructivism architecture
• Microsoft Publisher
• Harry Reid
• “OMG”
• Sales calls by auto-dialer
• Bikinis larger than size 10
• Speedos in any size
• Cubism
• Viagra commercials
• Laurent Gbagbo
• Cellphones in movie theaters
• Beets
• PBS Fundraisers
• Additional Twilight Movies
• Vuvuzelas
• Trick voicemail messages
• “It is what it is”
• “My Neck Belongs to Edward” t-shirts
• Flesh tunnel ear piercing
• The term “Love Child”
• Tsunamis
• Flip-flops in the temple
• Rachel Ray (Still can’t explain it)
• Monday night school activities
• Children’s beauty pageants
• Pre-sauced frozen buffalo wings. (Still an abomination. See here.)
• Anyone named Kardashian.
• Sean Penn speaking in public

...and, of course…

• Food Police politicians who ban toys, yet turn a blind eye to alcohol

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Comments

  1. I think the Rachael Ray thing is a lot of little things added up. Like the way she says, “EVOO. Extra Virgin Olive Oil.” Every. Time. Why go for the acronym if you’re going to say the whole thing anyways? And how every recipe I’ve tried of her’s is not actually that good.

  2. Also, Rachael Ray spells her name with an ‘a’ thrown in there at the end. Like Michael. That makes her more awesome, right?

  3. I’m so sick of the Twilight mania! You can enjoy a movie or book without acting like a fool!
    Beets=ew.
    Bikinis should be banned in all sizes. Even if it’s flattering, it’s not modest. Having lived in Europe, I would love for Speedos never to be worn again by anyone. *shudder* I still have nightmares.

  4. Ladies and Gentlemen:
    That right there is the reason that Glamazon is one of the premier bloggers out there. She has a super-developed sense of humor. She is hysterical!

    Running to the defense of Harry Reid? Bwa-hah-hah! That is sooo funny. I love her sense of humor. I’m getting a side-ache! Gotta run to the bathroom.

  5. What? Harry Reid? I don’t know if we can be friends anymore! 🙂 And bikinis over size 10? Flip flops in the temple? I didn’t even know that was you behind me.

    I’m going to have to rethink our friendship.

    I only have one thing to say: It is what it is 🙂

  6. I agree with you on Rachel Ray, I can’t explain it either – maybe it’s her smokers voice – who knows. I also want to add unnatural color dyed hair, I see many women over 35 dying a portion of their hair a bright pink or purple or halloween orange, that’s just so unnatural.

  7. FLIP FLOPS IN THE TEMPLE?? Have folks completely lost their MINDS?

    I DID think you were joking about the above pictured man.

    Great list. It’s a scary time when our society turns to the Kardashian Klan for comfort. Ew.

  8. Man, if they cut out additional Twilight movies, that would cut my blog posts by like 20%. I agree with your list otherwise. I think they should ban the Playlands and replace them with Zumba classes for kids.

  9. Yes, there are things way above happy meal toys on the list of things to be banned. I’d have to add women over 25 wearing those “My neck belongs to Edward” shirts. Makes me shiver in disgust every time I see that! Would those same women be okay with their husbands ogling Miley Cyrus??? Once again, **shiver**

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